What I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities

Apart from experiencing the obvious regret of failing to accommodate my brain and my attitude to handle the opportunities life threw at me, there is something else that happens when you realize you are not taking full advantage of your potentials. That is, in my case, all the things that I have discovered about myself because I missed the opportunities. First of all, I also missed opportunities right when I was facing them, in the sense that, that specific opportunity intimidated me so much, that I could not grab it. That, is unbelievable a powerful self disappointment, which transforms your future self adjusting to opportunities in 2 ways: one, realizing that the opportunity wasn’t quite as you expected it to be, or it is not really such a huge opportunity, but because you were so close to it, you managed to actually realize that, which in my case, made me understand I am a powerful opportunity myself (great to see that when in front of another opportunity, it’s a bit of a comparison type of enhancing one’s self esteem and self image) and two, one opportunity can actually develop a new opportunity in your life, because you took advantage of the first one, like a rolling snow ball effect. However, how equipped are you to actually have the courage to take the opportunity to achieve that?

what I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities

I know I am not that well trained in that direction. Moreover, I find myself criticizing everything I am inspired to do because of my perfectionist aura, hence sabotaging myself, lacking the courage to actually confront my fears and grab that opportunity. So, this is, what I have learned from my missed opportunities experiences:

  • I am afraid of a certain degree of success, because I am afraid I am not able to handle it because I never had a success to know how it feels or what it actually means
  • I am ashamed to ask for certain things from people, even when I know that could help me because I feel I do not deserve it and this is because of my perfectionism
  • I am embarrassed when I meet new people who have tremendous success and they are so much younger than me as this shows, at least to me, that I have not had that much drive to actually stand out and that’s because I am not really sure if I really want to stand out and be the actor or if I would rather prefer to simply have a comfortable seat to watch the show
  •  I don’t feel ready to take the leap and get out of my comfort zone because I do not think that to have success you must force something that you do not enjoy. I believe success comes from something you do easily and with joy
  • I am scared not that I will fail, but rather that I will possibly have a TOTAL COLLAPSE
  • I would not take an opportunity if I feel I have to stretch more than I feel comfortable to
  • I experience nervousness and its physical symptoms and I cannot cope with that stress (this happens when that amazing opportunity appears and I am told to go for it)
  • I become inhibited when I am in front of the great opportunity – my voice is lowered in volume, it kinda becomes shaken and blurred, I cannot find my words and my body language tells the other person I am shy. But that is not being shy. That is much worse. It’s intimidation. Inhibition. And inhibition is felt as if I have a block, a wall, a stop in front of everything I wish I could be or do at that time. It is transforming me into someone uncomfortable in my own skin, it makes me super aware and conscious of all my flaws and it gets in my way of accelerating my success. It’s a fail.
  • I am way too conscious of how I am perceived to the point that I deny myself different things, from kindness to gifts, to pleasures of life and even peace of mind. I torment myself with how stupid I could have been.

missed opportunities teachings wisdoms

These would be a few of the flaws that become visible now to you as well when I miss an opportunity or when it presents itself in my face and I look at it and let it pass by, making a strong long felt miserable impression of myself as well.

But there is also good things that come from missed opportunities and from all the flaws that make themselves seen when failures occur. This is positive aspects I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities and my missed opportunities feelings:

  • I am highly emotional and yet I have a rare degree of balance to which I can turn to find self comfort. This makes me overly sensitive and this hypersensitivity causes fear, timidity and lack of self confidence along with feeling overwhelmed by my self consciousness, but all of this spring from positive characteristics I possess such as my acute awareness and intuition. I am like an antenna for other people’s feelings and I often know before a word is spoken how they feel. I would not be able to have this capacity if I would not have experienced it myself. As a result, I have an enormous empathy for the inner turmoil of others and can do much good for people with emotional problems, something I intuitively felt a long time ago, when I decided to pursue my vocation as a psychotherapist or counselor, or healer of some sort. Which I didn’t, but that does not prove anything. I am in a position of helping people anyway, and I am learning patience everyday, every single moment. Hard times, hard jobs make you discover even more your personal power and even if I had not had the courage to follow my path in the first place as I chose it, I know it was a road I had to travel to become how I am today.
  • All the flaws I have are also qualities. Without my sensitive nature I would not have been aware of people’s expectations of me. I would not have been that easy to work with, therefore making my way in life easier and my life flowing like a river instead of a stormy sea and I would not have understood myself so well.
  • Due to my intuition, I am more sensitive, making my path a little easier and more direct, because I intuitively know the appropriate next step.
  • My perception of life is somehow more acute than others (when comparing myself with other peers) as I feel I see more clearly (for my future and my self) and more spiritually due to my high degree of sensitivity
  • I have learned to cherish myself more because I am my worst critic.
  • I value one particular lesson the missed opportunities taught me: I will be better prepared for the next opportunity
  • I am actually an optimist, a dreamer, someone that can see into the soul of things and I feel totally impractical at times. But this keeps me going through failures. If I missed an opportunity I know it is because I have to miss this one to be able to see better and grab the next one that is to arrive.
  • I do not believe in miracles, or that the next opportunity will not come. I know miracles exist and I know the next opportunity will arrive, so I would rather get myself ready for it. I rely on opportunities and miracles!
  • I became more creative and inventive after one opportunity missed, because I create in my head all the things I could have said and done to attract it better in my life, to contribute to my success. This creative exercise works again, to prepare me for the next occasion.
  • The paralyzing effect that some opportunities make me experience taught me something positive about myself as well: I can overcome that, no matter how difficult it appears to be. I am able to not let my feelings and emotions play too big of a role by accepting what I feel at that time, acting with flaws, being like I am in those moments (and possibly seen as shy and not that smart or wise, since my speech becomes so poor) and forgiving myself once I overcame it.
  • I learned to forgive myself for these failures and spread confetti in my heart. If I will not do that, I will never stop being so critical of myself, I might never let go of my Utopian goal and will forever be miserable since pursuing an unrealistic ambition, such as perfectionism in everything I am (even though mine is quite sincere), will make me lose perspective and feel dissatisfied not only with myself, but with others too, as the perfectionism style will surround my perception of my dear ones experiences as well. Human existence is relative. It is not black and white. It is a lot of shades of grey. Understanding this, being conscious of this will form the basis for my self love and true happiness. And I believe it can help you too.
  • One last thing that I would like to mention I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities resides in the fact that the regret of missing it, will make me, the next time another one presents itself at my door, to actually get out of my comfort zone and try to regret the paralyzing effect rather than the lack of it and its wise teachings.

What did you learn from your missed opportunities? Share them with me in the comments down below! 

what I have learned from missed opportunities wisdoms

Open letter to my older self

Hi! I hope you are well. I know for sure this letter is unexpected but I believe it is a pleasant surprise for you. I imagine it would be for me if I would receive one from our past self! I want to tell you I have big dreams, lots of stuff I wish I would have accomplished by the time you would get this. And I imagine that while you are reading these lines, you smile with gratefulness as it did happen. Oh, I cannot wait to be in that place you’re now!

open letter to my older self from my younger self

At the same time, I do wonder if you are as I imagine you. First of all, still looking young, healthy, calm. Our signature. I do hope you are healthy, fit and surrounded with love and peace. I hope you are reaching your goals and you work on what makes us happy. I dream you are beautiful, pleasant, alive, kind, healthy, happy. Successful in all the ways imagined. I hope all my dreams came true through you. I wish you could reply back and reassure me of that. It would make me feel more determined.

open letter to my older self from my younger self

I dream you would send me these days a letter and tell me all the great things that await me. I wish you would say to keep my focus because it will lead me where I dream to be. I wish you would provide some advice of some sort on what passion to follow to find you. I wish you would say I will become more confident in my own powers, passions, ways to do things and that my plans will transform themselves under my eyes and I will see them happening.

open letter to my older self 1

Why don’t you send me a proof that I have succeeded? Or a gift maybe, gift me something that I will create some day. I am so very curious about you. How you look now, how you dress, what you work, how your day looks like, what has become of your hobbies and dreams. I keep mentioning the same things, right? I would love to see a picture of yourself, of where you live. I am curious about the world you live in, too. How are people? And, do we have a garden, an ecological house? A cat?

How old are?

I wish to hear from you, get the answers on my questions and maybe become less anxious about the future, about my life or where is heading to. I would love to know the road ahead, thus planning on how I will fix things if they go wrong, or even, prevent them. I wish you would tell me what to expect. I would like you to tell me you are free, because the world we live in is free. Free of the burden of any financial or health stress. I want to hear from you. I need your support, your vision, your strength, your power, your courage to change.

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Please, be well!




open letter to my older self from my young self.jpg

The 100% Swiss Story

I used to work a lot in TeleSales.

The best part of it (working in tele sales), is that, some clients will blow your mind with their strange stories and strange logic. I, on behalf of my company’s name, offer to different businesses across Europe, packaging solutions.

100 swiss insights working in telesales

One day, I called a Swiss company that makes chocolate. The manager that I was talking to, from the very beginning, kept on arguing on why they do not need new suppliers or , in short, why he is frustrated with my disturbing phone call and he kept on having what I like to call a “prepared sweet saying NO answer”. Destiny made it such way, that previously with one day, I had read a serious information about our minds. That it is flat, in the sense, that when we are asked certain questions, to which we do not know the answers, we create the answers, we manipulate certain bits of information gathered in time, stuff that we recall, and based on this amalgam of non-sense, we create a logical answer to offer. The trick is that we believe it is true, even though it isn’t. We have a memory and we probe with what we see and we get a mismatch. Then, our minds try to overcome the limitations, by creating a sense in the mismatch, by adding something up, by making it up to have a sense.

The mind is an improviser. It’s faced with a problem and it figures out a solution. It is not actually looking inside itself. It’s cooking up a reason, an answer, it improvises.Having had that in mind, I asked my client a question that annoyed him so much that he ended up the conversation with a visible heard irritation in his voice, as if, he got caught.

What happened? His first reason to make me hung up the phone, was that they work with suppliers that are very close to them as it is good for having the packaging quickly made. I took the time to ask him what is their production time, and he replied something between 6 and 8 weeks. Then, I said:

-We can manufacture your packaging in 3 weeks (for the first order) and in 2 weeks (for repeat orders) and we have a one week delivery time. You can have it faster than your current supplier  and with no obligations to buy a certain amount of packaging, as most packaging companies do

-No, no, you see… We want to work with local suppliers, we have good relationships and we have been doing business for a long time, you know?, my client mumbled

-We have very good relationships with our clients too, and would like to be long term with you also.

100 swiss insights working in telesales

Then, he interrupted my “sale speech” and stated very proud of himself, as if this is the ultimate characteristic that my company could not offer him.

-We only work with Swiss suppliers. We have the ingredients and materials for packaging, everything from Swiss companies. We want the product to be totally Swiss, I mean 100% Swiss, because we have standards.

And I started my quest to find that “logical” answer he was going to offer to me. I asked him in a certain naive way, very curious and as if, I did not understand:

-But the Swiss suppliers for ingredients … I mean, they cannot produce cocoa in Switzerland. They buy the ingredients from Switzerland, all the ingredients, and materials?

The thing is, that he did not see it coming, because, he was focused on saying NO to me.

-No, no, of course not, they buy it from all over the world, from where they get the best prices, as you think you are offering me now, you see, they buy from the best parts of the world for the best ingredients.

-Ok, so you buy the ingredients and probably the materials from packaging from all over the world ?

-Yes, well not us personally, our suppliers, of course, and we only work with these Swiss suppliers, I told you.

-But then it is not 100% Swiss chocolate, as you want it to appear for people or for your distributors.

-So, that is our suppliers thing, we have a standard to work with Swiss companies and make it 100% Swiss, he answered to me quite irritated that I dared to say that.

-But that it is not 100% Swiss! I replied smiling.

-Well, miss …  he was trying to mumble something. And

He hung me up. Obviously.

100 swiss insights working in telesales

A lot of the pictures we have in mind is not a perfect picture of what we actually see. We construct a lot on what we see, we are putting up together information to make it logic, to overcome the limitations we encounter in our way. My client had seen me as a limitation, as an obstacle to his perfect ending day probably. His mind wanted out, I wanted to keep him in with job matters. He would not listen, so his mind was doing everything that it could to deny everything and help him get out. It became logical to him to explain his reasons, as if it was clear that I do not represent a Swiss company, so I will leave the spot. And I didn’t. Instead, I told him through my questions, that his reasoning is twisted and I implied to him, it is a stupid thing to say No.

100 swiss insights working in telesales

I am wondering how many times, haven’t we invented reasons, logical answers to different situations life put us, and we answered the same way: denial, NO, hung up, shut the door.  How many times had we reasoned ourselves about our jobs ? About our paths ? About our 100% story.

It makes me wonder about the many 100%, that it appears in different areas of our lives, how much of it is really what it is told to be ?

How much of your 100% is committed, is loyal, is creative, is serious, is everything else that we state about ourselves ? And if it is not 100%, what is the rest of it made of ?

What is it that you are 100% and what is it that you are not ? Do you think it impacts in any way, your present life, or had impacted you so far, to get to where you are or where you want to go ?

100 swiss insights working in telesales