10 things that kill women energy

The re-invention of yourself is an ongoing quest that is emotional, physical and spiritual. For us, women, to tap into our feminine energy is vital and it is about being committed to ourselves, first and foremost, and this means being committed to our own spiritual and personal growth, living with intention and passion while striving to contribute to our immediate world and the world at large in a positive and meaningful way.

Your life and my life is our vision quest, and so it’s up to each of us to design it, it’s about how we conduct and carry ourselves onto the path we have selected and most of all, how we follow through. To tap more into our feminine energy we also need to know the things that actually kill our femininity.

Here are 10 things that kill women feminine power and energy.

  1. A woman should only communicate with people that love her and that she loves back. She should not allow for herself any areas of conflict in any way. A woman should not communicate with those that she does not like, those people that we all have in our lives that are simply disagreeable. One of the worst mistakes a woman can do is to do something that she does not like or enjoy doing because this consumes a great amount of feminine energy which kills her spirit. This does not mean that you should not communicate at all as obviously this is quite impossible in today’s society. This refers to the fact that women should be very brief when discussing with someone unpleasant to them. When we try to make ourselves pleasant to other people we might dislike or find that we need to dissimulate we do not like them, we waste our feminine energy.
  2. Lack of personal care and physical exercise to take care of our bodies. A woman that does not take care of herself cannot take care of anyone. It’s cheap to look decent and groomed and neat, tidy. A man will always admire a women that is elegant, that is well groomed, a woman that loves herself and that has respect for herself. When a woman fails to take care of herself, she won’t feel good with her own self, and her energy drops and she starts emanating negativity or she is rejected by other people. A woman has to shine and she must not blur herself by self damaging her own feminine power by not caring for herself.
  3. Lack of emotions. Emotions belong to those that have a soul and feel all emotions. We all have emotions because we have a soul. Emotions cannot all the time be just positive. But you also have to be careful about who you let to see your painful spot as you might be vulnerable and they might hit you right there. Live your emotions. Women cry at movies, women laugh and express themselves and they must do this, and live fully, be cheerful, be positive, be alive and enjoy moments as this is something that makes a woman live in her energy, in her feminine power. Femininity is all about expressing yourself with no fear.
  4. Women must have hobbies. Women must be creative, they need to create beauty, energy around them. Even if she is only cleaning the house or doing a hobby she is owning her creativity. She is doing that hobby to recharge herself. Expressing her creativity is filling up her energy with more feminine and positive energy. Lack of hobbies is a thing that can diminish and eventually kill a woman’s energy. If a woman does not create something, even as small as it may be, then her energy stagnates. Anything that a woman does with her own hands is called and it is tapping into her creativity. When she is creating something beautiful, whether that’s doing the dishes, planting a flower, anything at all feminine wise, when she does anything that is beautiful after she puts her effort into it, she becomes beautiful.
  5. The need to dominate and to rule is killing women’s feminine energy. When the woman has a responsible man aside her, she knows she can rely on him and she won’t have this urge to rule or do it herself. No matter how you think about it, there are things that are exclusive to men and things that are exclusive to women.
  6. Women should not become slaves for their men. They need to respect themselves and yes, the woman maintains the relationship, the woman takes care of the home, the woman caters more for him, however, the man is the one that should bring in money and he should cater for her in other ways. But if she fails in this, if she is too picky with him, if she keeps on taking care of him as if he is incapable of doing so, treating him as a boy instead of a man, taking the role of the mother way too often, she will kill her energy, her femininity. No real man wishes to have beside him a slave that does it all. That’s why men rule and women obey. It’s more to talk here, but there is also the common sense and good manners code.
  7. Women must be unique. Women should not compare themselves with other women as they kill their own energy by doing so. A woman should never see in another woman a rival, a potential threat to her home and that can only occur and be felt if the woman is fully accepting herself and embraces her own feminine power and her own unique feminine goddess energy. The reason this does not happen is because women, instead of being together, they hate each other, they want to be someone else, as they fear or they lack the knowledge to discover their own uniqueness. When women compare themselves with other women they consume a lot of energy.
  8. A woman should not have the desire to fight for something to prove she is better, she is more beautiful and she is more intelligent. A woman does not need to prove this, and a woman should not feel she is competing with any other woman, as this activity only drains life out of a woman and our of her unique feminine energy.
  9. A woman must communicate with other women. This is a powerful source of energy for a woman. Obviously, this is with who she likes to be around. A woman should have some very closed friends with whom she speaks as she takes a lot of energy by speaking with other females. Women can only gain this energy by being around and communicating to other women.

10. Lack of personal space and time. A woman must have time for herself, for her own businesses and dealings in life. Always make sure you do something for YOURSELF and not for others or for something or to someone to prove to, as mentioned a woman should not compete with other women and should not feel the need to compete because she is unique, different and perfect as she is, simply because she is taking care of herself and she is already doing everything that she enjoys, she is creative, she makes time for herself and for her hobbies and she is doing only what she likes.

Remember: The 2 most important days in your life are the one you are born and the day you find out why.

A million likes won’t make you like yourself. A flower does not cry when you do not notice it. Its worth was never dependant on your attention. It is beautiful whether you see it or not. You are that FLOWER. We, women are flowers. Pour all your love into you. Fall in love with yourself, again and again.

As you take care of your energy, your energy will take care of yourself.

Sometimes, what is meant for you, can’t find you because you are simply not being yourself. That’s why it’s important to tap into your own creative feminine divine power. “Be the moon and inspire people, even when you’re far from full”, I read the other day.

Remember you are the source of your own power.

Blogmas 6 – Top 10 – Interesting to know facts + 2 Fiction books

I purchased a book called Top 10 for Men this summer and the main reason was because at work we have some games we do on a weekly basis, and I wanted to inspire a colleague with information or notions she could put in her fun huddle, but in the meantime realised that these top 10 were dated from 2012, so not very applicable for 2019. However, some of the lists created, I believe could not have changed in time, so I thought it would be fun to have a little bit of fun together with these Top 10 Facts. This book was designed supposedly for men, yet I could spot a page which is named Self-made wealthiest women. So Let’s start with that!

blogmas vlogmas 2019

Top 10 Wealthiest Self-Made Women

  • 1.Wu Yajun – Founder of Longfor Properties – a journalist turned real estate developer, Yajun’s wealth has exploded to $5.7 bn.
  • 2.Sara Blakely – Founder Spanx – this Florida native designed stockings friendlier to hot-weather shoes.
  • 3.Oprah Winfrey – TV Star – The talk show host and media juggernaut overcame brutal childhood experiences to wield unmatched influence.
  • 4.JK Rowling – Author – When the author began the Harry Potter series, she was a single mom on welfare living in an Edinburgh flat.
  • 5.Doris Fisher – Founder, The Gap – fisher presides over a clothing empire that includes Banana Republic and Old Navy.
  • 6.Madonna – Musician – The world famous vixen once hustled cassette tapes of her demo in front of New York DJs until they agreed to play her music.
  • 7.Coco Chanel – Founder , Chanel – Born of French peasants and reared in a convent, this beauty plied her trade as a seamstress into the highest level of fashion.
  • 8.Josie Natori – Founder, CEO – The Natori Co. – After migrating from the Philippines to Westchester, NY to attend college, she abandoned investment banking to create high-end women lingerie.
  • 9.Shama Kabani – Founder, CEO – The Marketing Zen Gp – a social media marketer who has seen her worth swell 400% each year
  • 10.Deanna Jump – Founder – Teachers pay teachers – This Georgia teacher developed a way for her profession to share creative, engaging lesson plans. The first year she only made $300.

Top 10 Largest Constellations

1.Hydra 2. Virgo 3. Ursa Major 4. Cetus 5. Hercules 6. Eridanus 7. Pegasus 8. Draco 9. Centaurus 10. Aquarius


1.Calcium 2. Potassium 3. Sodium 4. Magnesium 5. Iron 6. Zinc 7. Strontium 8. Rubidium 9. Lead 10. Copper




  • 1.A la recherche du temps perdu/ In search of lost time/ Remembrance of things past – Marcel Proust – 1,200,000 words
  • 2.Clarissa, or, the History of a Young Lady – Samuel Richardson – 984,870 words
  • 3.Ponniyin Selvan (The son of Ponni) – Kalki Krishnamurthy – 900,000 words
  • 4.Poor fellow My Country – Xavier Herbert – 852,000 words
  • 5.Sironia, Texas – Madison Cooper – 840,000 words
  • 6.Romance of the 3 Kingdoms – Luo Guanzhong -800,000 words
  • 7.A suitable boy – Vikram seth – 593,674 words
  • 8.War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy – 587,287 words
  • Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand – 565,223 words
  • Il mulino del Po (The mill on the Po) – Riccardo Bacchelli – 559,830 words

since we are at the topic of books, I wanted to bring to your attention that in my Blogmas 5, I was mentioning about my 14 books on my reading list for 2020, and I briefly mentioned that they are all non fiction almost. Well, the 2 fiction ones, I would like to delight you here with their title:

1.The Plotters, by Un-su Kim, translated by Sora Kim-Russell

2.Costalegre, by Courtney Maum, Publisher Tin House

These 2 books were selected and I decided to include them on my list of reading because it seems whoever read them assumed Aquarius people would love them. Based on their descriptions, I believe they are something I would choose. “The Plotters” recommendation sounds like this: “I like to think of my Aquarius friends as secret masterminds: they seem shy, but they are actually deep thinkers – and plotters. Secret’s out, I guess, but it’s worth it to recommend this Korean literary thriller that centres on a shadowy organisation whose members dictate all the crimes in the city, and whose secret base is called The Library.” “Costalegre” recommendation sounds like this: “Any Aquarius worth their salt will thrill to wander into the world of Costalegre: that is, a group of avant-garde artists hanging around the Mexican jungle. It’s just the kind of oddball escape that progressive, independent-minded and artistic Aquarians live for.”

Very magnetic.

Will you be joining me for Blogmas 7?

Blogmas 5 – About my 2020 reading list plans

I used to read far more when I was back in my home town, ever since I moved to the UK, in 2014, my reading habits have dropped significantly, to the point that maybe this year I hadn’t read a single full book! I keep starting reading them, because I still buy them, but never finish them. I recently, not that recently, 6 months ago, got into the mode of learning new languages, particularly Italian and have been very good at it for around 3-4 months, after which, autumn knocked at my door, more hours at work had to be taken temporarily, rain and winter feelings of cosiness leaked in my daily routine and I eventually dropped my Italian habits and I realise now that what I have learned did not disappear, however the level I thought I had achieved, it’s not actually there anymore. I would need to revise everything all over again, which, in this point in them, is likely improbable. That’s why, I want to crayon my 2020 reading plans, to maybe think of a reading list and actually stick to it.

Reading has always been for me very relaxing, and has always calmed me in some way, reading is calming my restless mind and it’s forcing me to focus on one thing at a time. I guess this is the main reason I really struggle to read nowadays, because I want too much all of a sudden and I distract myself in too many directions, becoming actually, more directionless.

Apart from the fact that I want to re-group myself and introduce my daily foreign language learning habits, I want to write more on my blog, here, and I want to read more, because, firstly, reading is exceptionally creative, inspirational and can motivate you, or at least, it surely does this to me, to get inspired and if, I read about something interesting, I immediately get an idea and want to write it on my blog. So, let’s just do this. 🙂 Maybe this plan I have for myself will guide you to think of your own reading lists for 2020. I hope.

I get a lot of inspiration and joy from browsing specific websites, that I think I mentioned here before. I will start with the most recent one that I have looked onto, which is called lithub.com. I am always captivated by the quality and beautiful craft around writing there, and I actually discovered that literary platform because I really loved how one author or writer was creating content on flavorwire.com‘s books section, her name is Emily Temple and at one point, she left her position there and I kept trying to find out where else is she writing and that’s how I ended up on lithub.com.

So, when I select books I want to read, I usually go to different recommendations on websites that do this for a living, such as the lithub.com. I also check the publishing house of books that I read in the past and enjoyed so much that fell in love with the publishers and one example is Picador publisher company, or Pan Macmillan. Picador actually won the Imprint of the Year at 2019 British Book Awards. I also scroll their website in search of new books and interesting stories and different content than the one widely spread or suggested online.

I used to not really enjoy reading fiction because I did not think at that age (when I believed that) that one could learn anything from a novel, apart from life stories and events and get a plot and feel the rush to finish reading it, but that has changed when I read very good books recommended by mostly people who are in the industry and know what they are talking about. I like a good fiction book, however the latest one that I picked up, was in Spanish, by Paulo Coelho, called Veronica decides to die, and I cannot finish it, it is so depressing and it really affects my judgement. This means 2 things, I am very empathetic, I am too emotional and I am easily influenced by what I read and also, the author is extremely good at describing and making you feel like you could be thinking the same way. I think that should be a book suicidal people should read. I cannot finish it though, I found that it strongly affects my emotional state and makes me gloomy. I wanted to read it because first, it’s by an author that I know is exceptional and have read “The Alchemist” and it was life-changing, read my Blogmas 2 on the topic more, and second I wanted to maintain my Spanish language skills. But, I will not be doing that with that book!

I am also particularly interested and keen on discovering new sensations in the non-fiction realm of books actually. This may steam from the fact I studied Psychology and being given potential answers or reasons for behaviour and brain patterns is really helping me in understanding myself for, as I am on a constant “get to know myself” treadmill and it pushes me to follow my dreams. So, the books that I actually have on my reading shelf are mostly, if not, all, non-fiction.

1.How to be a dictator – the cult of personality in the 20th century by Frank Dikotter

2.User-friendly – how the hidden rules of design are changing the way we live, work and play – by Cliff Kuang and Robert Fabricant

3.Long Live Latin – the pleasures of a useless language – by Nicola Gardini

4.The finance curse – how global finance is making us all poorer – by Nicholas Shaxson

5. Winterlust – finding beauty in the fiercest season Bernd Brummer, translated by Mary Catherine Lawler

6.Genuine fakes – how phony things teach us about real stuff by Lydia Pine

7.Artificial Intelligence – a guide for thinking humans – by Melanie Mitchell

8.Crisis of conscience – whistle blowing in an age of fraud by Tom Mueller

9.The optimist telescope – thinking ahead in a reckless age by Bina Venkataraman

10.The fate of food – what we’ll eat in a bigger, hotter, smarter world by Amanda Little

11.The levelling – what’s next after globalisation by Michael O’Sullivan

12.The universe speaks in numbers – how modern math reveals nature’s deepest secrets by Graham Farmelo

13.How to do nothing – resisting the attention economy by Jenny Odell

14.Maybe you should talk to someone: a therapist, her therapist and our lives revealed by Lori Gottlieb

So, these are the few books I should be able to easily read next YEAR, as you can see they are diverse, different and give perspective on subjects that are of worldly interest and futuristic. Practical.

I have there 14 books, so I have been very kind to myself, one book a month should suffice for me to finish it and not leave it unfinished. Regarding my plans to incorporate language learning into my daily routine, I decided I want to go ahead with one language at a time, so my focus will remain Italian and as much as I am so interested in Estonian and their culture, I will need to prioritise to be able to reach my destination. If there’s anything that I learned this year hardcore is that you need to focus on one thing at a time, multiple diverse interests would only distract you and take you no where.

As to how I will do the Italian, I will do it passively through learning on the go, most likely by listening and following Youtubers in Italian, music and blogs. If my attention is mainly there anyway, why not make use of my passions and include tiny changes that can actually help me further down the line.

If you would like to read some Christmas related books, I recommend to follow these suggestions, they are from last year (10-new-books-to-enlighten-your-dark-december) , but they are very mesmerising. I also have my own December Christmas recommendations here, if you want something old, but gold.

Baby steps. how about you, what is your reading list made up of? Let me know in the comments! I would love to hear about new books, different styles or ideas.

Blogmas 4 – How to feel more joy?

I was writing yesterday all about understanding joy and the difference it has with happiness and I was mentioning that I quoted parts of the article I was reading all the information about and I actually did a test yesterday regarding what is draining my joy and how to feel more joy, and it was spooky accurate, of course, because it is a quiz actually (briefly I will explain the difference to you) and I really think it would benefit you too, in case you missed the January 2020 UK Psychologies Magazine.

Regarding the difference between a quiz and a test, well, a test is usually something that is testing your abilities in something and it gives a percentage of how much you scored based on a majority percentage. A test is usually something that is more connected to our capabilities, whereas a quiz is reflecting something we know about ourselves but it is putting the spotlight on the actual things that we fail to see. A quiz is based on multiple answers and they are all right, they just highlight your personality at that point in time, your thinking and your mood. To be completely honest, from a psychological point of view, a quiz isn’t really that reflective of yourself as it is a test, but a test can only be completed in presence of a psychologist, someone specialised in this area, compared to quizzes that are open largely to the public because they are not clinical, as tests are. So, a quiz will capture alternatives which you choose and they reflect your inner being and mood at that point in time. If you take the same quiz in 10 years worth of time, the outcome could change, because , we as persons evolve every day, who you are today is different from whom you will become in 1 year. Your perceptions and ideas will have altered in time and formed you as you are into a more mature human being.

This quiz is very fun and I really wanted to include this disclaimer, it was not made up by me and it is solely taken from the magazine with the purpose of serving you as my reader and help you in your life, especially at this time of the year.

What you need to do: Select one option from each question and add up at the end of the 10 questions, the number of symbols you have selected, the more symbols of one category, the better, because that’s where you will discover you find your joy, as the outcome will also be included in here. Why is it so accurate? Because you are giving answers very close to something you already feel or know about yourself and adding it all up, the psychologist creating it, made sense of certain traits for the person choosing those particular options. So, let’s begin.

  1. To you, truly joyful people seem: a)alive and switched on b)calm and focused c)confident about the future d)clear about what really matters
  2. Which of these activities would you find the most therapeutic: a) a walk somewhere beautiful b)doing yoga or meditation c)laughing with a good friend d)listening to an inspirational ebook or podcast
  3. At the end of a challenging day, you often feel: a)numb b)frazzled c)worried d)restless
  4. On a group holiday, you’re the one who: a)feels disconnected from the group b)wants to try everything c)plans for all contingencies d)suggests a group activity
  5. You feel at your best when you: a)feel engaged by something new b)know you are making a difference c)are doing something that you are good at d)are doing something creative
  6. For you, joy is something: a)uplifting b)clarifying c)liberating d)spiritual
  7. You will feel more joy when you feel less: a)isolated b)fragmented c)anxious d)directionless
  8. What’s been your biggest time-waster this year? a)scrolling on your phone b)doing too many things at once c)fretting about things that never actually happened d)comparing yourself to others
  9. Your go-to mood lifter is: a)escaping into your fantasy life b)setting yourself a new and exciting challenge c)venting to someone who is supportive d)buying something new
  10. To you, a life well-lived means: a)making the most of every day b)making a difference c)taking every opportunity that comes your way d)being your best self

The outcome shows you what will help you feel more joy.

why we love specific fashion clothes why we wear certain clothes
Photo Credit: @BrookeCagle

If you scored a majority of a) -CONNECTION : Joy often comes in tiny packages that are easy to miss if you spend a lot of time on autopilot. Tuning into joy starts with being present. You may disconnect due to feeling overwhelmed; getting through the day rather than experiencing it. Low mood can be a trigger for retreating into a protective bubble and disconnection can be a survival strategy to make stressful situations bearable. Even daydreaming can mean disconnection if it’s a way of dealing with tough feelings. Designate regular times of day to be in the here and now. It might be on your journey to work, at mealtimes or when you go for a walk. Instead of clicking into distraction mode, bring your mind to the present and notice what you experience through your senses. What can you hear, see, smell and taste? When your mind wanders, bring your attention back by asking “How do I know what I am feeling?” At the end of the day, do a mental review of positive experiences, no matter how small. There are joyful moments everywhere but sometimes you need to train yourself to notice them.

intermittent fasting 1 year experience
Photo Credit – Phi Phi

If you scored mainly b) – SIMPLICITY – Your capacity for joy is diluted if your life is fragmented, or you feel as if you don’t have time to do things properly. You may postpone joy, telling yourself as soon as you’ve caught up, you can enjoy yourself. However, as soon as you get over one hurdle, another appears. If you feel as if you have lost direction, you react by seeking new challenges, when the solution is to do less, not more. Creating a more meaningful life can mean saying no to things that you want to do, as well as those you don’t , to allow space for joy to flourish. Embracing simplicity starts with a switch from living reactively to being proactive and thinking about how you want to spend your time. Happiness is under your control! Start small – swap an hour a day spent on an activity you feel indifferent about to one that you love to enhance your contentment. It can be a simple change – maybe go for a walk at lunch instead of looking at your phone. Bring your daily habits in line with your values and joy will follow.

do people really read blogs or just scroll through the photos
Photo Credit – Annie Spratt

If you scored mainly c) – OPTIMISM – Joy can feel uncomfortable and unsafe, as if you are tempting fate. Joy can be fleeting or may be followed by disappointment, but moments of joy will remain elusive if they are always countered with negative thoughts such as “this thing won’t work or won’t last”. Anticipating the worst is protective but undermines confidence. Trust that allowing yourself to feel joy won’t lessen your resilience. You deserve joy! If you have an insidious inner critic, it will find a way to make you feel guilty for feeling happy or pleased. Try to nurture your inner optimist. Make a decision to treat yourself with compassion and spend time with people who uplift you rather than drain you. Each day, think of 3 or 4 good things that could happen over the following week, however tiny – a conversation with a friend, reading something uplifting, enjoying a walk. It’s about being grateful for good things in advance. Experiencing joy is about training your mind to expect positive things, and to notice them when they happen.

why we love specific fashion clothes why we wear certain clothes
Photo Credit: @BrookeCagle

If you scored mainly d) – PURPOSE = You may seek joy in all the wrong places – external validation, possessions or achievements – but it’s hard to feel joy if you’ve lost sight of what gives you meaning. When you are driven or conscientious, you can do what’s expected of you, rather than what makes your heart sing, so live becomes a series of milestones. You will never feel joy if you are stuck on an achievement treadmill when what you really care about is being part of a community creating something meaningful or helping the world become a better place. Be sure your values and aspirations are truly your own and not imposed on you by others. Start by making time for awe and wonder. Immerse yourself in beauty, the environment or art. Find a way to explore and express your creativity and spend time with like-minded people who inspire you. Nurture the brave part of you that seeks a life less ordinary and try to consolidate your spirituality. Living a life of meaning is always a work in progress but there is much joy to experience along the way.

how to feel more joy quiz

All 4 options actually are great ways to start embracing your life and be more grateful so you can let yourself see the joy all around you. I think from each section, we can all take something and feel more mindful, peaceful and calm.

What score do you think I got the majority of? Which did you?

Blogmas 3 – How I find inspiration

For me, inspiration is something that gets me out of bed, that makes me do things and be active, instead of being passive. It’s joy. Pure joy, which I have mentioned in my Blogmas No.2 that I rarely express. I do feel it the most when I get inspiration and this need of sharing the idea I come across or something that I want to create because I need to express myself.

In my view of things, inspiration brings joy. I was seeing something funny the other day on Instagram, Frassy Audrey on her Instagram account posted a picture with each zodiac sign’s idea of wanting to “kill someone” figuratively speaking. For Aquarius, which is me, it was ‘being forced to work a desk job’ and this really made me laugh, both in happiness and tears alike. The reason, is that, I have worked all my life a desk job, and sure, it is comfortable and nice, and you can check my Blogmas 1, to see my view on that, but at the same time, it is something that kills me deep down, and of course, when your soul dies, you become very sad, mean and you weaken your love for people in general, because you are so consumed by what you despise that it is hard to find the joy. So, you can see, I am in this cognitive dissonance that I was explaining in my previous posts during this Blogmas, and I do not know how to get out of it and my only escape is, at the moment, the dream I have with this blog. So, I write.

Some years back, I read 2 important books that truly captivated me and made me see the fundamental meaning behind using your talents and passions to serve others, which is to inspire other people to do the same. I believe that if we, all, work and do with joy and passion and positive energy all that which we were created and planted onto this Earth to work on, we would truly make the world a better and peaceful place. When everyone is going to a job that they only do because it pays the bills and helps to maintain a certain lifestyle that we have all created around us and that is comfortable and secure, we do become numb to experiencing joy and passion, or the real, real interest and perseverance in something exciting, lively and creative, inspirational and motivational for others. When we inspire others to do beautiful things and to share their amazing talents, we grow humans and we expand our consciousness and we attract good vibes and abundance. I think, we lack the faith that, that is a very likely possibility, that’s why we keep our secured jobs. But anyhow, I am getting off track here. Those 2 great books are Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” and Elle Luna’s “The crossroads of should and must, find and follow your passion”. I have discussed the impact these had on me here and here, respectively.

alisa-anton- do people really read blogs or just scroll through the photos
Photo Credit – Alisa Anton

Those books are very inspirational and motivational and make you feel like you can touch the sky. They are so positive and uplifting. I madly recommend you read them. I would need to re-read them to get a confidence and mood boost.

When I usually want to write on the blog, I am thinking what to write about, what to share, how to write it, when in most occasions, this fails to fulfil the purpose of actually sharing stuff. I have few people actually reading this now, and if you are reading this now, can you please leave me a comment? So, having a little following or maybe none at all, is in a way, useful, because I do not need to stick to content. However, the main reason, I am still in this situation is because I do not push myself to go further with this and leave it for tomorrow and so on. It’s been 4 years like this! With content going up every couple of months, whenever my inspiration strikes me and I want to put that idea online now, I mean, in that place and moment in time, that it happens to me. And because, I have a rather stressful and soliciting job, I use up all my energy for work purposes and I forget about myself. In rare occasions, when I actually find the time to “love myself” (take time to myself and to browse all those websites and fantasies online to get inspiration or to bring joy to my fade life) I get a shot of inspiration and I either use it straight away or wait until the next day, write something down in relation to it, and I say to myself, “I will write on it tomorrow”. And tomorrow, I never do. Some pieces of content make it to my blog, some end up on other blogs (because the idea is worked on by others more diligent in their passions who are more focused people). That is also true, because ideas don’t just come up to me or you. They are in the air waiting for someone to pick on them and act on them. A lot of the times, if you are the first one to collect it, you get a push from the universe and you are recognised by others for your idea because you dared to pursue your passions and the universe makes sure you are rewarded, one, to make you an inspiration for others to follow the inspiration or your vibe and energy of action and second because you deserve it. You have done something no one attempted to, even though they too, had all the ingredients.

bright blue monday positivity motivation inspiration mood uplif

So I guess, me attempting this late Blogmas, is a way of keeping track to myself and obtaining a result at the end of December. This result consists of being able to follow through something with no immediate reward. Being able to persevere. Being able to be consistent. Being able to divide my energy and attention or to keep part of the energy I give at work, to myself, to use it up along with my focused attention for something I enjoy more. Being able to be true to myself and just do it (blogging) and see if this is actually for me or not. Although, my thought is, it is. I am drawn to this. I feel this is where I feel at my best, so comfortable and so uncomfortable at the same time.

I am really curious about your blogging journey. Tell me, how have you discovered your path or have decided to stick to it?

For me, it’s always been about being inspired. As mentioned, energy creates this inspiration, not just photos or articles or stuff you discover online or hear offline or you read. You have a certain amount of energy and you have to make use of it in a sensible manner. Meaning, BALANCE. As much as I know I have read a lot and probably even shared a tone on the subject by now on the blog, I actually think, balance is what we need to actually achieve our goals. It is not sustainable to work non stop even though you have a vocation or job or career you are in love with or married with. You also need time off. In that time off, a lot of inspiration can occur. A lot of new things happen and the brain just gets a getaway from all the to-do lists and goals to attain and it’s able to be more productive after a vacation.

So, because I was mentioning in Blogmas 2 about my health concerns and my little obsession with healthy lifestyle, I have actually come to the extreme of it, and attempted too healthy, if that makes sense, with my daily intake of garlic, weakening my iron levels, which in turn is affecting my daily routines, making me very dizzy and tired all of a sudden. This also highlights the chaos I live in. Because, the truth is, it’s been quite hectic this year. Therefore, I strive for balance and mindfulness regarding equilibrium in life. The journey has to start with something I get joy out of, and this is coming from this blog. I am also getting inspiration from simply writing, sharing and then reading my old blog posts and realising, how much I still like them. And trust me, I am so critical, I mean, remember, I am a perfectionist!

31 lessons I learned in 31 Christmases

But I think, I have covered this before, I want to let myself to just write, with no fear of doing it, in the end, there’s not many critical voices here (since I have a little following – jokes!!!) with no judgements on myself, with no strings attached. Just explore this new “kind to myself” version a bit, since it’s also December, the kind month, jokes again. Explore my writing style, which I think it’s optimistic, positive, uplifting, introspective and funny, but can also be reflective and knowledgeable, useful but at the same time enjoyable.

31 mistakes I made in 31 years

Where else do I find inspiration? In nature, in new spots I have not explored yet, in different areas than the ones I am normally interested in. In conversations with people. In what people tell me about myself. I am actually scared of asking people their opinions on me. It may steam from childhood trauma because I was quite a shy girl and being introverted, only made it worse in teenage years, but, I think the main reason is that I fear people will say things about me that I fear facing, which are true, but deep down do not want to be associated with of embarrassment, because while growing up, those characteristics or traits were regarded as a deficiency in some way or another, as a weakness that defines me, as a stigma and it hurt. But, a lot of the times, sharing information about yourself to others, to new people, not just people that know you very well, can give you a different perspective, can heal the past trauma, can reveal a different side of yourself that you did not know you owe, and can turn your life upside down. As an example, the fact that I am shy and introverted can be seen as a disadvantage at work nowadays, because you need to have the leadership skills to progress on the job, you need to be vocal about your accomplishments, all of which is not my style. It’s very difficult for me to portray something I am not deep down, because it feels I am letting myself down, or better, I betray myself. And another cognitive dissonance appears. How can you obtain a position you know you are good at and can handle well, but the interviewer wants you to showcase attitudes and behaviours that are opposite of yourself ? That’s another blockage which stimulates your inner self to think, “oh, that job is not for me”. My manager recently said to me that, if she had a visitor, she would not feel confident in me explaining my job to them because she does not see me being vocal or visible as that type of person to be able to handle that “opportunity”. It hurt. But at the same time, this shows something about myself which is more profound and I should not be upset with my manager for making it visible to me. I am lacking confidence in my abilities. Because I do not have a good enough self esteem (being damaged through my perfectionism quest and self critique) I was not able to defend myself and stand up for myself and say “Hey, you are wrong, I am actually very sure of what I am doing here and the fact I am not telling everyone I am so good at, does not mean I am not, it simply means, I focus on my job, not on what other people think of me, but I will definitely be able and not just able, would love to have this chance to prove you wrong”.

31 mistakes I made in 31 years

I lack confidence in my own strengths. Writing it makes it feel like I will fix it, like it gets healed. But we all know it does not happen that fast. When I get inspiration, I feel extremely confident of myself and I am pure joy. I do not think of what others think of me, I simply am, I simply live. I love that feeling. It’s a lovely energy that is just love. So, to me inspiration is life. It’s the core of life balance. It’s like water or air. I cannot live without it.

Inspiration is my joy. And joy, I actually read a full article on this in the January magazine of UK Psychologies. And I would like to quote some insightful words on the matter of joy: “Research indicates that joyful moments are really powerful. Joy can improve our performance at work as well as change the way we interact with others, and it can make us 12% more productive because it improves our working memory, the part of the brain we use for complex tasks during which we need to focus. The truth is, if we allow ourselves to experience joy during difficult times, it helps us to combat stress. Joy allows us to develop more resilience and find more meaning and purpose in the midst of challenges. Research by psychologist Barbara Fredrickson reveals that if you allow yourself to experience small moments of joy, such as buying yourself a bag of sweets, you will be more likely to see the bigger picture when solving complex problems, as well as coming up with creative solutions.”

I really will like to include much more of this motivational article, because it helped me see how I mistakenly believed that if I limit myself and my joy, I will have time in the future to feel it. Well, not if you get dizzy in the meantime – :)))) I want to include this “joy research” and copy paste parts of the article because a lot of the times to experience the inspiration, we need to allow ourselves to be joyful. And the following paragraph will debunk it in more proper words to understand what I want to say:

“Society dictates that the busier we are, the more successful we are. And we sometimes confuse achieving our goals with joy, or mistakenly believe that one will necessarily lead to the other. Unfortunately, this leads us away from a state of being into constantly doing, and also comparing ourselves to others on social media. {Side note – and do you remember what I was writing about in my Blogmas 1 – link here} But it is only when we learn to spend time in the present moment and can be with ourselves that we are able to feel truly joyful. Joy isn’t about the fancy car, it happens on the inside.”

“Dwelling on how happy you were in the past or fantasising about how happy you could be in the future if a certain set of circumstances comes about … neither of those mental states is properly joyful. On the other hand, joy isn’t about having to create an Instagram moment of, say, a holiday with access to an enormous swimming pool. It’s about savouring the little moments, the small details. Another immediate issue when it comes to creating more joy is that it’s an emotion that is frequently used interchangeably with happiness, even though there are distinct differences between the 2. Happiness is a broad evaluation about how we feel about our life over time and it encompasses a complex range of elements. At times, the concept of happiness can feel quite vague. If someone, were to ask you how happy you are right now, on a scale of 1 to 10, you would probably struggle to come up with an answer. You would have to ask yourself – how do I feel about my work, family, health and relationships?”

Joy on the other hand, can be defined as an intense, momentary experience of positive emotion. We can measure joy through direct physical expression – laughter, a feeling of wanting to jump up and down. It differs for everyone but what’s important is to start to pay attention to what it feels like in the body. It creates a physical reaction just as, for example, we can identify when we’re anxious because we have butterflies in your stomach and clammy hands. The more we notice that joy is a physiological experience, the more we can start to catch hold of those moments in our day. It’s a chain reaction that unfolds in the moment instead of being this far-off thing.”

According to the American Psychological Association, there are 2 recognised forms of joy: passive and active. Passive joy involves tranquillity and a feeling of contentment with things just as they are. Active joy involves a desire to share one’s feelings with others. Both are associated with an increase in energy and feelings of confidence and self-esteem.”

These last words, cited, conclude my points. Inspiration brings me joy. I will stop postponing my joy and so should you. Inspiration is everywhere and sometimes it is the actual joy in the small detail or random stuff you come across or words you hear or thoughts you share with people.

But, what does inspire you, deeply? Tell me in the comments down below!

Blogmas 2 – Google says ….

I have to say that I might have gone overboard with my health concerns and healthy eating and actually done worse to my body than good. Let me explain.

The last months I have been feeling very tired and honestly I was either unable to sleep or was forced by external circumstances (noisy neighbours. flatmates) to wake up and divide my sleep, forcing myself into a vicious circle of insomnia but also tiredness. Better, I feel exhausted! And I am not working as hard or as difficult as I used to. You might have figured it out that I work in a financial institution in quite a heavily stressful position as a Fraud Agent and it demands a lot of concentration, focus and attention to detail, all of which are actually quite good qualities of mine but I might have made too much of use of that, too.

To start with, I was on the calls all day long with customers fighting fraud together (joking, it’s just me, educating and obviously protecting the company I am working for, against fraud and fraudsters) but in July this year, I moved to a different department and I am now working as a Fraud Analyst and I have very little interaction with customers and the call centre part of the job and customer journey satisfaction and support is no longer something that bothers me or frustrates me or creates stress in my life. So, I should actually be better now that I am off the phones and more into an analysis more relaxed type of job. That’s what I thought. Now, what I think happened is that I accumulated a lot of tiredness and I was not able to properly release it and recover from the last 4 years of taking calls, and everything is just coming down on me now, this December, when I am feeling exhaustion, to the point that I have started last week with episodes of dizziness, sudden fatigue which leaves me feeling like I would need to lay down and take a nap immediately. It is very annoying, especially the dizziness part because I cannot concentrate, I feel it’s taking me longer to do my job and I feel like people do not believe me. There are 2 reasons behind that, in my opinion. People see me still functioning and in quite good parameters and assume that maybe my sickness is not that severe actually, or they simply do not take it seriously because I am still coming to work, I rarely complain and just work even though I feel I shouldn’t. Again, behind all these, there’s this feeling of perfectionism, I can still do it, I am ok, which I am starting to think it’s maybe myself hiding from what my dizziness is trying to show me, which is I need to focus more on my life and what I really want from life, as I feel I have lost direction and my motivation drops every day, more and more.

I am getting demotivated by 2 things. First, this uselessness attitude I have concerning my own direction or passions, that I mentioned yesterday too. I have this feeling that I am not focused on what I should be doing, rather I am keeping this comfortable job to hide away from the struggle I would need to endure to obtain or to reach a point I actually want to be and because I compare myself with people online and with other peers, I get this feeling I am way behind. Others at my age have done 5 times better and more. Why am I still procrastinating? Well, simply because I have lost my motivation to hustle. I have lost my motivation to my passions. I have lost my direction and because of that I have lost my joy.

My husband recently actually told me that he has RARELY seen me be extremely happy or joyful regarding things that happen to me. And that could not be closer to the truth. I remember I was reading some very long time ago, so long that I think it’s like in the fairytales times this “so long ago”, that Aquarius persons, like myself, are very calculated, they do not let their emotions run wild and free to be seen by others and at that point in time I was a bit bewildered with that because at that age, I was clearly not that aware or fully aware of my actions and was not paying much attention to how I look or sound. However, I can totally relate to that now. I am so calculated that even when something amazing happens to me, I think twice if I should actually smile or celebrate the beautiful thing that has just occurred to me or remain rational and focus on the next thing. The latest is my usual reply to life’s exciting throws of bliss towards me.

I guess I feel anxious to be happy because I fear I might sing victory before the victory and then I will lose it. And this, is the emotional cause of dizziness. Now, I do need to combine this esoteric information with down to Earth, calculated and rational excuses to my present health situation.

Enter Google.

Now, I live in the UK, and the NHS here, which is the national health system, is a mess. If I compare it with Romania, oh boy, Romania is far superior and much more care is offered than in a country that is supposed to be more serious regarding its citizens and their overall health. As a side note, before I came to the UK, in 2014, I believed that Romania has a poor national health system and that you need to take private healthcare for better conditions (which is true regarding the cleanliness and equipment, medical devices) but I am referring here strictly to the human resources, of which “human” is not the word. In Romania, people in the national health services do care and at least try their best with the least they have to offer support or information or further referrals. That’s humanity, CARING. But NHS, my friends, does not care AT ALL. I ran my blood tests analysis recently, because I was not feeling well, and when I called to get my results, the lady picking up the phone, checked my file and she said, all looks normal and your scores are all between the brackets (the lower and higher limits), I said, fine, I need a copy of that. A couple of days after, went to collect my copy to discover I was not fine at all. There were several blood tests analysis that were way below the limit (and these are related to my immune system) and a couple that were way too high, one of which was the cholesterol.

So, of course, with this in mind, I started to dig the internet to find answers and correlations. Do you google your symptoms?

Well, Google says that I potentially have anaemia, severe fatigue, or chronic fatigue syndrome, iron deficiency or like auto-immune disease, because my immune system is weakened even though I had done my blood tests right after a period of around a month or more of me taking the Solgar Female MultiVitamin, eating very well and eating lots of garlic. Maybe too much.

I have been having garlic almost daily for around 2 years now. And I believe I have exceeded the daily dose with more than once, it’s probably three times more garlic daily than I should have had. And according to Google, garlic cleans the organism from bad stuff but it can increase the excretion of tough minerals in the body, and it can also deplete the body from good minerals too in this process. Apparently, garlic can thin your blood and you can become a little anaemic. It contains sulphur compounds. It is stated that you would need to be a little anaemic for this effect to be experienced, which in my case, it’s kinda compatible, since, I have always had a lack of iron or enough iron, and I guess, I did not know or did not take it seriously because it did not affect me that much, until now. Garlic, as mentioned may cause you to excrete some heavy metals because it works that way. Along with the bad metals in the blood also goes some we need, this could also make one feel tired. It makes sense.

Before you jump over the fence and start saying I should refer myself to the doctor before jumping to conclusions, I am referred to the doctor but it seems I have to wait a huge amount of time to actually speak and be taken seriously. Had I not called to ask for a copy of my blood tests, I would have never known that something is wrong. It does seem that, in the case of health, you need to take the first steps and not wait on the doctor to actually look on the file and help. I can understand they are busy and overworked, but overlooking something so crucial is devastating. Imagine if it was more serious, something with life – death impact. This NHS is so bad.

And anyway, when I went to the doctor at NHS, a couple of years ago, he was actually googling my symptoms!!!

I am now due to take another sample of my blood to see if it was temporarily (which I highly doubt given that I am now feeling worse than before taking my blood tests) and I hope I will get a medical explanation and moreover, the support required. When I went this time and requested my blood tests, I have mentioned to the doctor I am feeling extremely tired and I was expecting him at least to take my blood pressure, ask about things that are usually important to establish if this is normal for this type of person or is it not. I may have offered some bad service in the past to customers and karma is taking care of me now, but medical service should always be exceptional. You cannot play with someone’s health. You should not have become a doctor if you lack the seriousness that is accompanied by the title Doctor.

Because I am inclined to always look on alternative medicine and obviously, health and healthy eating and lifestyle is a priority for me and a passion, I have looked up the emotional and spiritual causes of my symptoms or so called diagnosis. And, it does tie up with what I have been feeling lately: demotivated, fear of letting my joy out and letting myself be happy and be seen happy or let myself experiment and love myself even with all the mistakes I make (and stop focusing on perfection all around me and about me) and more importantly, I have been stressed and unable to sleep in the last months. I guess this sleep deprivation also accelerated my symptoms and combined with the root case of all, it emerged through this dizziness. Even the name of the condition, “dizzy” encapsulates a loss of focus, a lack of direction, a lack of vision. I will work on it. That’s why I am writing and attempting Blogmas.

What is your experience with the world of national healthcare? Is it good in your country? How does it work?

Blogmas – Demanding too much of oneself

I know it’s late, it’s the 8th of December and I decided I wanted to discipline myself with my blog writing by actually documenting this December, through Blogmas.

I will want to recover the previous 7 days by writing or sharing other insights and I will want to do it next week, because I have some days off. But today, it’s Blogmas No.8 :D. Hello! I want to touch the subject of demanding too much of oneself, or in a way trying to be more than what you should focus on, because there’s so much competition and, if you’re like me, you strive to attain sometimes, the same objectives, that actually, define someone else’s life path. But, because we live in this consuming society and social media is all over, our friends or people we follow make us want to need things and this makes us, sometimes demand too much from ourselves. Or at least, that’s how I feel.

I realised that I am getting inspiration from reading about a diverse range of topics. I am really motivated to write and share all these aspects I find enjoyable, useful, futuristic and engaging, but rarely actually get myself disciplined into jotting down the ideas I want to cover and actually start blogging. This Blogmas I will do this. This should not be taken as a demanding activity I ask of myself, rather, it’s a form of disciplining myself to be blogging and start living what I see at others that I aspire to be like.

I am hoping this would serve as a catalyst for you too, to discipline yourself with one thing only at a time in order to get what you desire.

We usually demand too much of ourselves because we feel we want to be the best, or better than someone else, with whom we compare ourselves. From my own humble existential experience so far, I have gathered in my thoughts cupboard that I tend to compare myself with either a person that I admire or a person that I am jealous of. And, the truth is, a lot of the times, we believe we are better than the person of whom we are jealous, which makes us be in a love-hate relationship with our own goals and with the discipline we know we have to work on to actually be in that spotlight that we so much admire and believe should be ours. Or maybe it’s just me. When I compare myself with someone I admire, I am inspired to share similar content or knowledge to what I see and enjoy, because I am drawn to that. Usually, when I admire someone, it’s because they are at a stage that I am striving to attain and I know it’s not going to be easy, and that person shares views or opinions very similar to mines.

When I compare myself to someone I am jealous of (because they have reached a point in their life that I wanted too, but I feel that person got it way too easy – of course, that’s a misconception – because they do something that I want to do too, but it feels like, that person stole my idea – again, there’s plenty of space under the sun – because the person is suddenly saying, doing or sharing things or stuff I know better than themselves, and I feel they share that for the money, for the trend, and not because that’s something they really believe in) it’s very toxic. I get demotivated to do things because “What’s the point?”, because that information or knowledge or idea was already shared in a quite good format and I, deep down, liked it too, but at the surface, my ego is saying “No, that’s not that good! I would have done it better!” and this idea of “I would have done it better” is extremely poisonous to our souls. We start thinking we are better and more talented than the persons we are jealous of and we believe of ourselves we still have time to do what we wish to work on, yet we never do, because we are subconsciously demotivated by that person’s success or what we believe and perceive as success (as this is experienced differently and uniquely by everyone) and we are actually jealous that they do “just do it” and a lot of the times, this jealousy does emerge from a quality or physical thing that we want very much for ourselves. As an example, a person I am jealous of is a Youtuber, but she is Romanian, and admitting to myself that I am actually jealous is a big thing and the first step in recovery, but I feel that I am actually jealous that she has the courage and the persistence of doing what she wants. I guess I started on the wrong foot because I could have had everything I wanted but I got myself into some trouble with loans and debts when younger and it’s taking me to a point that I had to work whatever (sacrificing my desires and my soul path) just to pay off the debts. Because I was working in a field I had no interest in, I worked a lot and overworked just to pay the bills, this has eventually hurt my motivation and got me to a point that I had no more energy left to actually pursue my passions and this job I had that paid the bills and helped with money budgeting began as a helping hand but it was supposed to be temporary and it became permanent which in turn made me a slave to the lifestyle the job was offering me. This comfort is hard to give up and I suppose it is easy to be jealous of someone that you think they got it easy because they did not have to struggle with something you had to struggle with. It’s a vicious circle. But the thinking pattern is wrong, it’s poisonous, it’s soul crashing. To get out of this, you need to gain perspective or rather, to re-gain it and re-think and re-group yourself from everything you had been through. To actually stop being jealous of that person, you need to forgive yourself for not doing more to reach that destination you think you should have been at by this point in time and not feel jealous of the person that did reach it because they had a different experience. They have other struggles and your own path is unique. So, to stop demanding too much of oneself, I believe, it is important to recognise the pain you hold inside, the poison cocktail made up of regrets, comparisons with the wrong persons, society and family expectations of you, your own erroneous perceptions of your future self, your hate towards your past decisions, your unwillingness to forget yourself which is transforming into perfectionism and this idea, an unconscious idea (just like in Inception, the movie, a small thought) that you do not deserve more because you have not reached those expectations you had of yourself. Maybe this jealousy is actually connected to the fact that you do not feel you deserve more because you have made big mistakes (which may again be a subjective perception) and you need to punish yourself, and because you followed that path which did not lead you to the desired outcome, you do not trust you could make a better decision in the future and you feel jealous that someone, similar to you, has actually managed to forgive themselves for their own mistakes and moved forward.

Maybe we are jealous because we do not think that the person we are jealous of deserves to forgive themselves, because we cannot forgive our own selves and we have this subconscious belief that we need to punish ourselves to deserve something, to be worthwhile of abundance. When someone that we engage with seems to have similar ideas as we have in a certain area that we are interested in and we want to reign it over, but they dare to do it and do not ask for anyone’s permission to do it, we might feel betrayed because “hey, we are the same in a way, why are you not punishing yourself anymore?”, “I still need to punish myself” and “I am not happy you left me here, I now hate you” but, there are times “I still love you” because it’s still a part of us in that person, we resonate with the person we are jealous of, we have common grounds too and we used to be in the same spot, it’s a love-hate relationship with the person we are jealous of, career wise, in my insight, anyway.

Something else, that I feel, is that, when we start doing what we want and what we dream of doing or buying, and we let ourselves experience that which we refrain from because we deep down feel we do not deserve it, we start having this tolerance towards the person we are jealous of, it’s like the jealousy diminishes and we actually go back to the initial relationship we once had with the person, of acceptance and “I vibe with you, I like you now”. So to stop being jealous we have to follow our dreams and wishes and work on something we are passionate about in the midst of the storm. That’s what makes us free of this jealousy.

Whenever I do a little more from that of which I want to accomplish, I feel less jealous of that Youtuber I was giving you the example with. And that happens because I know I am on my own path, and I am happy with my path.

If you are not happy with your path, you will start demanding a lot of yourself to cover for the fact you are not actually at peace with that, which you know you should be doing, but procrastinate because it’s harder to work on something you desire and on something you are passionate about than it is to go work. Self imposed discipline is quite hard to stick to because you do not see instant results, whereas at work, you get paid every month. It’s like a constant cognitive dissonance between what you know you could do and want to, but lack the energy and discipline to focus on tangible aspects that can be altered to divide that energy into activities that take you closer to your destinations and the actual 9-5 work and the other thing that creates this distress is the fact you kind of enjoy your current mood and comfortable lifestyle, generated by this external imposed 9-5 discipline of the work you do. I wish I could say, I know how it is because I had been there, but … I still am.

When I demand a lot of myself, I realise I also demand or expect a lot from the others around me. I expect the same level of excellency I offer. I expect the same level of conscientiousness and seriousness and I most of the times form a level of expectancy higher than the norm and higher than what can potentially be offered. We are human beings prone to mistakes and errors and we all struggle in a way or another. We need to remind ourselves more often that we are doing the best that we can at this moment in time, with the knowledge we have at this particular point in time. We are doing enough. But not enough for our egos. It’s our ego who is jealous, it’s our ego who is demanding. It’s not us.

This December, remember this more often and be more kind to yourself, to actually be kinder to the others. 🙂

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo By Chris Liu

11 best and inspirational articles about learning languages I found online

“Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language”- Frank Smith. Now, I do not know who Frank Smith is, but when I found this quote online I truly integrated that. I recently joined a community of foreign language speakers on social media, mostly on Instagram and if before this decision, everything in my feed was more related to fashion, beauty and beautiful pictures, it’s now pretty much language and learning foreign languages content. It is more motivational than I really thought it would be and more fun than I expected it to be. Although I cannot possibly check all new posts, I feel really impressed and pleasantly surprised to report back that social media can make you feel inspired to do stuff than just make you drool on the pictures you see, leaving you feel like you are not accomplishing anything worthwhile in this life. Then I found this one: “The more languages you know, the more you are human” from another person I have no idea who he is, named Tomas Garrigue Masaryk. (note to self – to look those names up)

So these 2 quotes inspired me to search for more content on language learning to get insights, tips, tricks and share them here, but first, apply them myself. Here are some of the most inspirational and educational posts I found online on language learning to motivate you in your actions of foreign language learning.

1.I would like to begin with one short article that discusses some findings regarding how the brain learns a new word. And I quote:

Practising language is important. Every little helps. Just perception – listening – is helpful.

This suggests that even listening to a podcast such as CoffeeBreak on Spotify or similar ones, will help tremendously in you picking up the language faster. I can relate to this because while growing up I used to watch a lot of Spanish soap operas and when I started really learning Spanish in school, I was able not only to learn it faster but to also have this in the flow perception when learning anything new. It was not something I dreaded, even if it had to do with grammar because I simply loved the language. I was accustomed to it and it was easy to make my learning and language skills progress way faster.

the researcher … thought repetition is the key – but the brain learned best when it was relaxed and not trying to remember anything at all. {…} you remember because you go back to it again and again. {…} the brain has to determine what it is important and what’s not.

This really supports what I was mentioning above with the state of flow I was finding myself whenever I was having my Spanish classes, whenever I was learning on my own or watching something in Spanish. This means if you want to learn a language, you must do it because you really want to learn that target language, not because it is something someone is telling you to do, not because you imposed on yourself to learn a new language or a specific language. You must have a connection with the foreign language you choose to learn. That’s when passion blends with learning and if your attitude towards learning is relaxed, you are more likely to quickly become fluent.

Read more in this article.

2.This article was written by Amy Thompson who is an associate professor of Applied Linguistics at University of South Florida and she studies how learning languages can have cognitive and emotional benefits. 2 key concepts are discussed here: cultural competence and tolerance of ambiguity.

Cultural competence is opening people’s eyes to a way of doing things that;s different to their owns. Tolerance of ambiguity refers to the comfort level a person experiences when dealing with unfamiliar situations.

Analysing cultural stereotypes when learning a new language means also learning a new way of thinking and behaving, much like in this quote: “Learning a foreign language not only reveals how other societies think and feel, what they have experienced and value, and how they express themselves, it also provides a cultural mirror in which we can, more clearly, see our own society.” Chancellor Edward Lee Gorsuch. This chinese proverb says it all: “To learn a new language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.”

The second part of the post deals with the tolerance of ambiguity concept which the author pinpoints as follows:

Someone with a high tolerance of ambiguity finds unfamiliar situations rather exciting than frightening. {…} Conversations in a foreign language will inevitably involve unknown words. {…} Those with a high tolerance of ambiguity would feel comfortable maintaining the conversation despite the unfamiliar words involved.

To read the full article pop on here.

3.Can learning a new language boost your creativity? So, nowadays we see a lot of content, books and highlight put on creativity because as Einstein says it “creativity is intelligence having fun” and it’s more important to be creative than smart, or something along those lines. Learning something new requires our brains to adapt quickly and grab every method out there to get to the outcome desired. This goes the same way with language learning. It has been researched and the result is that learning a foreign language expands our divergent thinking. The author explains this:

At a very basic level, learning a foreign language requires us to construct and negotiate the unique architecture in which it consists. Each new language we learn presents us with new barriers when trying to convey meaning. {…} As your mind generates possibilities in order to negotiate these barriers, it engages in a potent form of divergent thinking – the very thinking that drives creativity.

Of course the method you use to learn the language can interfere in this enhancement of creative power and classic teaching focusing on memorising grammar structures and the focus on giving always the “correct answer” to problem solving is not going to achieve that outcome. The author is quoting Sir Ken Robinson as he is arguing the fact that the educational system has become so obsessed with avoiding mistakes that because of that “we are educating people out of their creative capabilities”.

More of your creativity related questions with regards to learning a foreign language are answered by the author in this blog post.

4.Things bilingual people do. This explores a different version of how bilinguals experience the world around them. It is as funny as it is based on science and research and it’s just something different to read to give you a little bit of inspiration. Marta Krzeminska, language passionate at LinguaLift blog writes about all things connected to language learning and learners. Have a go here.

5.From the same author I would like to also include a little info-graphic which should give you the push to include a little bit of language learning in your daily schedule. I was checking that out because I wanted to see how is the world, if you can say that, taking into account it’s just around 200 people the study was conducted on, incorporates foreign language study in their busy schedules. I am someone that prefers to embrace language learning throughout the day, for few minutes, for pleasure and not as a form of “I must learn this, it’s on my TO DO LIST.” That never worked for me. I have to find it fun and easy and relaxing. More insightful info to look at in the link Language Learning Habits.

6.Are language learning apps really that effective? I was actually asking this myself because the theory you have in mind is that you need a teacher, a classroom and a schedule and constant memorising. It’s not fun, maybe that’s why I postponed so much initiating a new foreign language learning. So, I have discovered a different approach mainly after watching this Youtube video, and then discovered some other polyglot Youtubers who kept mentioning about all these free apps which you can use to learn a language. My first thought was that it’s not sustainable. You need structure, grammar and a clear direction on what you are studying and how you are going to fulfil the learning material to make sure there is results soon and visible. An app would only and can only teach you so much as to words, vocabulary and help you memorise it better or faster. The article explores in my opinion the history of language learning, starting from audiolingualism, getting to the communicative approach and ending with the foreign language learning apps. The authors, all working at the University of Bath as course leaders are Mike Groves, Diana Hopkins and Tom Reid and I could not agree more with their findings related to the fact that the language learning apps can only work as an useful supplement when learning a new language but it is also a great tool to help literacy where that is not possible and give the option to everyone through free apps to learn a language and be able to articulate basics in a foreign language. In my own experience, learning a few minutes every day through the app is making me curious and excited for the next learning experience because I see progress straight away. And that’s because it’s few words. But if you consider the theory by which if you set yourself a goal and you dedicate 1 minute per day to that goal every day, simply because you learn fast and remember for the next day, makes you feel satisfied with yourself and keeps you going. It keeps you motivated and sooner than you realise you will extend the time from 1 minute to 5, and so on, until it truly becomes a habit and a passion, something that you enjoy doing rather than something you dread starting. So, in my opinion language learning apps are amazing, they are of course just a supplement as you could never really become advanced just by using an app, but most likely it helps shape the patterns to learning and it is motivating you towards bigger goals.

More reading on the subject of audiolingualism (the drill where students repeat sentences over and over until they memorise it and recognise it in practice), the communicative approach (which relates to: it’s better to speak broken grammar and good pronunciation than perfect grammar but wrong pronunciation, as in that situation you cannot make yourself understood) and the audio-lingual drilling can be found here. The apps I use for language learning are Drops and LingQ.

7.The mind of the language learner written by Steven Kaufmann (who created also the LingQ app for language learning), the linguist that can speak 17 languages explores in this article how the mind of the reader can be associated with the mind of the language learner by seeing yourself as someone that can learn, that enjoys learning and that is positive about the learning/reading.

8.Storytelling to learn languages. This is written by Luca Lampariello and he is a well known figure in the kingdom of polyglots and his insights and language learning observations are probably where most of the new arrived on the market polyglots get their information or learning tips they share online too. He is explaining this article that stories help us memorise vocabulary and so “It’s not a coincidence that one of the most popular techniques among memory experts is to build a story around what they want to remember.” as he writes. I mean, storytelling does everything that we need to acquire the language: stories are fun, full of vocabulary that has context for the new words, stories teach us how to speak the way the foreigner of that target language expresses himself or herself, configuring the grammar in a cultural immersion and linguistic environment. I also loved this article because Steve Kaufmann’s app LingQ is based on stories and reading and hearing the stories there helps a lot with pronunciation, spelling and both visualisation of the words in context.

I am leaving for the end the best of the articles I found online about language learning and one of them is about the importance of the digital language divide.

9.How does the language you speak shape your experience of the internet? written by Holly Young. This is probably one of the most interesting and inspirational piece of content relating to language learning and foreign languages online. I found reading it like a breath of fresh air in the large ocean of alike foreign language posts and articles found on the internet. It makes you think, it makes you wonder and it makes you want to do something about it. If you are like me, and you do speak a language that is only based in that specific country, you do want to preserve it, you do feel it is important that we keep the culture and not globalise everything because the official language online is English (thus highlighting more English learning than our own culture and native languages, simply because that’s the universal language now). The article explores how countries in which English or any other foreign language learning is a priority puts that city/town/maybe even country to being excluded from information as all information online is in English. Lacking English language skills makes one vulnerable to outdated information and inability to find new information in one’s native language due to lack of translation because everyone assumes that everyone knows or should know English. Here’s my highlights:

Inequalities in the information available for different languages online has implications for who and what gets represented – and by whom. {research based on word searches related to the language spoken pinpoints that 11% of people are multilingual on Twitter and 15% on wikipedia} Multilinguals have the power to be influential whether it is translating and bringing foreign concepts into different language editions on Wikipedia, or moving breaking local news stories to new language communities and different geographies.

Twitter has a particularly high number of Malay, Portuguese and Spanish users also tweeting in English.

The research of Andras Kornai at the paper Digital Language Death claims to present evidence of a massive die – off caused by the digital divide. Will the internet act as a catalyst for the extinction of many of the world’s languages?

Access to internet also offers the opportunity for linguistic empowerment : to document and preserve languages, to share teaching online to encourage new speakers, to translate important information for marginalised groups and to even create virtual communities of speakers where they may struggle to exist offline.

{the Endangered languages project} Is there a danger however that instead, new users, influenced by the volume of content in more dominant languages, will abandon their mother tongues online?

research suggests that speakers of smaller languages online will often opt to use the internet in a larger language, even if they don’t speak it well.

10.The only post you’ll ever need to learn a language in record time by Tim Ferris. I am not even going to dive into this one. This is what you will learn from reading it:

How to speak your target language today.
How to reach fluency and exceed it within a few months.
How to pass yourself off as a native speaker. And finally, how to tackle multiple languages to become a “polyglot”—all within a few years, perhaps as little as 1-2.

11.And finally, the last inspirational resource I discovered online about foreign language learning is contained in a series of articles written by Kevin Morehouse, named Language News from Around the World. As the title suggests, it’s like a newsletter with everything fresh. The blog has not been updated in a while but still, scrolling through older versions, I could still find great language learning content and more news around foreign languages.

To end, I will include some inspirational quotes that I really find motivating to help you initiate this foreign language learning habit. I trust it will be of use to you!

“Language reflects the soul of the people.” Paul Schibler
“The spirit of a language is most clearly expressed in its untranslatable words.” Baroness Marie ‘Freifrau’ von Ebner-Eschenbach
“With each language, you learn to free yourself from your trapped spirit.” Friedrich Ruckert

“With foreign words on our tongue comes also the foreign spirit into our world.” Carl Theodor Korner

The characteristics of the work you obtain and the way you describe it reflects your inner self

Journaling about how I feel I am, about what I like about my job and about what I wish in the working that I do, has made me realize very important aspects about myself and mirroring the information with my husband, have discovered that this, what I am about to blog about, really makes sense. Indeed, I got this insight that the way I describe the work that I do, with its goods and bad, describes me spooky well. I have also come to the realization and have come to terms to what is actually its significance when we say or we are told by leaders and inspirational speakers etc that we should forget what society is telling us, we should ignore what people tell us we cannot do and we can do. I know truly, deeply have figured it out.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo By – Natalia Figueredo

This is how it works:

I have come to the conclusion that many times, I want to be or become someone or do something due to expectations I believe of myself to have and to be my own, when the fact is they were imprinted by something I would have seen online, or offline in real life to people that are so happy with their lives, careers and so on and who make feel everyone listening to them that they have discovered, understood and aligned to their path. This alignment and flow in these people’s life is something so powerful that it is impossible for everyone else not experiencing it to not be inspired, maybe jealous, curious and secretly wishing to have their life, while taking as much in as possible from their speech, attitudes, behaviors, clothing, ideas and even desires to do or become someone meaningful or worthy or admired or to become that “word” which is on everyone’s lips nowadays – successful.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self
Photo by Jon Tyson

I believe that what we really are attracted to these successful people is their total happiness and perfection in life (wealth, health and family) which is intrinsic to EVERYONE and that we all wrongly believe that the energy and bliss they are experiencing is something we could experience too if we follow our desires. But our desires are not really our desires. They are made up from the energy, passion, vibration and inspiration we feel energized by when we listen to these people. Instead of taking in the courage to listen to our inner beings and confront what actually makes us happy (which most of the times is in contradiction to what we think we want because it was imprinted by society) we believe that we are going to feel that freedom, independence and happiness, free of any burden of unwanted responsibilities if we follow their path. Their path is presented to us with such an energy that is contagious and it’s getting confused to our own path. We want the same life too. We admire successful people, we may chase them on Instagram, we may acutely read them or watch them or listen to what they have to say and we breathe their story instead of taking in their energy and passion for their path and not the path itself. This happens because society is made in such a way that our minds are confused to what actually is success.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Jon Tyson

While growing up we are tamed into perfect believers that if we work hard enough and if we follow the rules of other successful people we will be happy. Parents tell children, “how are you going to pay bills with this? (whether is painting, games, literature, fashion, anything that contradicts your parent’s vision of success which they encountered in their imprinted life)” or “if you do not learn this now, you won’t be able to get a job and what are you going to do then?” (instead of focusing on what they do best now and enhance their strengths) or “this is nice and you are good at it, but you need to do this still, it’s more practical” (implying that if we do not do certain jobs, we are not going to live, which our brains cannot conceive because we are hardwired for survival, so any notes on that, and we forget our passions, we go cozy and comfortable, we go safe.) So safe, that when we hear successful people talk about their struggles, our brains instead of understanding that it is about following our unique passions, about going wild and not domesticated, we go into a society friendly mode by which we comply even more with life and what other people say – work hard, study this and that, make your way into the business; started from the bottom, now we’re here vibe isn’t about following someone else’s dreams or ways of getting into this “success”ful trend, is about finding your / our own distinct talents and using them. It’s about following our intuition with what we like and want to study or work in, it’s about working harder on persevering with our dreams as this is SO MUCH HARDER than working harder on a safe job. It’s so HARD to maintain yourself accountable for your dreams and passions and talents and how you grow into an expert in that. It is extremely difficult to follow the path of rejection from everyone telling you “you are wrong”, “you will lose all your money”, “I do not believe in this working for you”, “you should just keep this as a hobby rather” and everyone turning your back at you because they are afraid YOU are confronting their lack of courage to go for their path and destiny. It’s easy to close your eyes and pretend that it does not exist. As a comparison, it’s easier to think food is just food to eat and fill my body than truly going deep and understanding food is medicine and that all disease comes from poor eating habits and lack of interest in learning that, because this too, has to do with the same thing – lack of courage. We are cowards because we know it’s actually hard to fight against our selves and our imprinted expectations, wishes and hopes and ideas of success.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Jon Tyson

Success is unique to everyone. And it is a perception. Perceptions are not the same as reality. Perception is subjective and it has to do a lot with your environment and your imprints and your unique being. Perception is not reality. Therefore, the way we perceive success does not mean the emotions we would feel if we would attain that success we see in others, would be real. As one of my Uni teachers said, “Behind every emotion, there is another emotion.” Perception is illusion. Success is an illusion of something we make up in our own heads highly influenced by peers, society, energies we perceive and wrongly translate into happiness. Energies we feel are the vibration of the “successful” person that is doing what he/she likes, has positive and beautiful results and shares it with the world. This sharing makes him/her happy. This happiness translates into that energy we perceive. We perceive their vibration which was able to be materialized into a concrete form and they have made something tangible. That thing which is tangible that we define as success is the inner self fulfilling its destiny he/she set up way before they were born. They had the courage to follow their intuition despite everyone else being against them not obeying the rules.

We are all intuitive. We all feel things. Even though they are perceptions, and they are subjective, they belong to us and there’s a reason we feel it. To follow it. 

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Jon Tyson

This is another insight I gained while journaling – I do enjoy working, but I need to put in the work that I want to do and feel in the flow with. If I am forced (and we all force ourselves to go against what we feel inside we should be doing, by following what other people are telling us we should do to be happy, since everyone else is happy doing the same thing) to work something I do not want to work (even though I may be successful in that and maybe quite reach a good status) then I develop certain negative emotions and feelings inside such as anxiety, stress and lack of contentment for my life, I do not feel fulfilled rather depleted of energy and consumed by responsibilities I dread and wish would not have to be accountable for. These emotions generated by the job I work are what I actually despise when I say “I do not like my job”. It’s not the job itself. It’s how it makes me feel. The way my job makes me feel means that I need to gather even more energy to cope with processing it. Which is not something I want to do. I want to keep my energy for myself, for what I truly want to work. For what really makes me happy. I want to keep that energy for activities that will generate emotions which I do like and enjoy feeling – such as tranquility, gratefulness, bliss, peace, inspiration, self esteem and other inner unique emotions which make me happy. If I feel more the negative emotions generated by how I perceive my job, it does not mean I cannot feel the positives one generated when I am out from the office and doing what I enjoy, it simply means I have to spend more time in the negative and less in the positive and it requires more energy taken from the positive to actually process the negative and be able to get back in balance for the next day. If you have ever felt drained at the end of a working day, you know what I mean. That feeling means you need to sleep to regain your energy and positive attitude to problem solving at work. It’s not that I dislike problem solving. I dislike the activity I have to do to use problem solving. I want to use that in an activity that I enjoy being challenged. If that makes sense.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Emma Matthews

So, next, based on the above, I want to tackle the following:

The reason we look for something else when we obtain a job that we do not resonate with and we say “Oh, I would wish to have a job in which … this and that” or “How awesome would it be, if …” is because we are our jobs and we do not really like ourselves, we do not really accept our weaknesses or vulnerabilities and there’s plenty of stuff we need to change and we don’t. Our jobs are an environment that generates bad energy and negative vibes and that’s because deep down that’s how we really are. The way you describe your job is how you react. As an example, I describe my job as stressful, annoying, boring, full of hassle, too much responsibility, too serious, very secretive in a way and procedural, process driven, analytical, high service levels and too many demands. Well, guess what, I am very serious (I take my responsibilities very seriously), I am analytical, very attentive to details and that makes me easily drained, I have lots of responsibilities that I wish could be shared in terms of finance management, I can be very annoying as I want things to be made my way because I am extremely cautious and precaution and safety are my top strength qualities and traits, I am not very adventurous and prefer the safe road, step by step approach which is something demanded at my job and I can be very anxious and stressed if I do not get things done quickly enough and with quality (because I am very serious and conscientious) and that’s how I realized why I am my job. And why would I or we even go for a job that is something about ourselves that we do not like and wish to overcome?

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo By Emma Matthews

Because everything in the universe is ENERGY. We attract what we are. We are our jobs. We are our environments. Because we attract them through how we breathe, think, speak and act. We have attracted the jobs we have which we would like to change. Because we are attracting what we are, what we truly want is the opposite. And we desire and look up for the opposite because we search for balance and harmony. Harmony and balance can be achieve if there is a minus and a plus. That’s when we are whole. We have everything we need to survive, to grow further and enrich other people’s lives like “successful” people do. When we want to have a different thing than what we have, it’s because we are searching to fulfill ourselves. We cannot be whole by only being one thing we are. We need it all. That’s why we are searching for our purposes, we follow goals and passions and hobbies to release energy that balances and harmonizes ourselves. We need our jobs as we have it. But we also need to follow our intuitions. Because our intuition has the purpose to take us on the path that will actually create this harmony and will actually take us where we are supposed to be, to become “successful.” 

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Jon Tyson

I also believe that our intuition is like the fragments of bread that Hansel and Gretel left behind themselves to find their way back home while wandering in the woods. We have chosen this job we have now, way before we were born, we are predestined and we have chosen to leave our intuition to guide us in life to make sure we fulfill our destinies (and become humanly “successful” through our passions and energies and teachings we get from that to pass on) and then come back home – to God.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Jon Tyson

I have lots of Youtubers and bloggers that I aspire to, that inspire me and that I love their flow and think to myself, “how can I have that life too, that easy, peaceful and wealthy life”? I see and perceive and feel their energies – they have already tuned into their intuitions and follow their path and are on their way to their destinies. I think when we admire someone and are inspired by their achievements in life we actually admire their found energy in fulfilling their destiny and listening to their intuition, and being who they ARE already, not who they WILL BECOME. We feel (because our intuitions really are special) that they follow their path and will go back to God happy to have finished their own assigned missions. We feel their accountability towards their destiny. We want to do that too, but we believe we need to do what they are doing to reach the same level of happiness, contentment and fulfillment, just because that’s what we see at the surface and what we perceive. And that’s when intuition plays in and when we need to follow. But we don’t, we trust more the other people and what society says we should do to have achievements. And that’s why I believe I now understand when we read about “why we should set aside what society tells us to do, and not do it”.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Clark Tibbs

I have listened to myself. I have listened and discovered that what I admire at successful people is an internalized expectation of myself set by the society to achieve something worthwhile to become admired and lovable and a model for other peers. I do not need to have a specific position to be happy and I do not need to have specific knowledge in specific fields of operation to be accepted by society, to be admired by others and to be employed or get a job. I do not need to dress in a certain way to feel beautiful or to be seen as beautiful. I do not need to do SO MUCH to be allowed x, y and z things/stuff/activities/treats etc.

You do not need to do so much and hassle so much to be allowed to just be happy as you are, with what you know and with what you do, you do not need to do so much to be allowed to have x, y and z in life. Follow your intuition because it will take you where you need to be and it will make you become who you are supposed to become, the person you predestined yourself to become and forget about what society tells you.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Emma Matthews

I also discovered that who I am is not the same to whom I want to become or whom I would like to be like because what I would like to become might very well be given by my false illusion about my expectation that I need to be and become in a certain way since that’s how I have seen someone I admired that is happy and I made a wrong assumption (again, subjective perception) that that person’s life flow is in total alignment with their environment so then I need that environment too, to fulfill myself too and so, I believe I need to become someone alike that successful person by putting effort into creating an environment like them, maybe creating a blog, a youtube channel, a podcast etc. But that does not mean it will make me fulfill my destiny or it’ll fill me inside with contentment and happiness and harmony.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Jon Tyson

My core value and strength is based on safety and extreme precaution and caution. In everything that I am and I do, I am cautious and rarely take risks (unless I can go ahead with the consequences of losing something because I am not really losing). This type of cautiousness and safety that I create around me and that I breathe and I am is comforting to me because I know I can rely on myself since I am very serious, responsible and accountable and this is achieving me independence because I am practical, down to earth and determined in employing a step by step approach to problem solving and being so reliable has its benefits in society because society functions on these core values of doing things as you are told, obeying, not taking adventurous steps or not following the guidelines. It’s how I gained my independence. My money. Therefore my way of being safe in the world actually gives me independence and that is creating my freedom. That’s why I enjoy things to go in a certain way and I like to be cautious, I pay attention to details, I make sure things I organized and systemic and everything is in order. Because otherwise, it would threaten my status quo of freedom. And freedom brings me tranquility and peace and harmony. It’s very twisted and complex, but that’s the human mind and it may be hard to swallow this information. But this is what I believe.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Fineas Anton

My inner hidden anxiety is how I am for real but cannot accept that as it makes me react quickly and jump to conclusions and then regret my actions because that’s the main thing anxiety does – makes you want to react quickly to STOP the anxiety. And how would I do that if not by reacting too quickly to RELEASE THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY and EMOTION. But doing so there are consequences. That quick reaction is risky. I do not like risky. So it’s like a vicious circle. The only way to break it is to maintain my precautions. And how do I do that? Follow what society says it’s good for you. So my inner self attracts my future job/work environment. Because we are the way we describe our jobs. To balance that inside, we hide our true self with masks. My mask is a face of calm and peace and rationale and long time processing thinking patterns in the midst of a devastating emotional inner hidden (sometimes even from myself) turmoil. And that mask keeps me on balance. So, I search and aspire to a job that is alike my mask. I need a job of which activities and tasks I can speak are not stressing me and that inspire tranquility and great harmony. I dream of working in a harmonious positive (or how I perceive it) work environment to balance out that true hidden self of anxiety, stress and high demands. I look for peaceful working environments as self defense mechanism. But I always end up in jobs similar to my inner being, because I have not come to fully accept myself yet (having just discovered it, I first need to internalize that and understand it) and I attract what I am. Living with our selves for such long time, we have also started to love ourselves and all our craziness and it is difficult to free oneself of that which we know characterizes us. In a way, I do enjoy challenging working environments, competitive tasks and activities and high demands because I like to prove myself I can do that and also that, and that too and so on. This attitude is linked to what we were told while growing up “if you do this and that, you get this and that”. This means that we have been imprinted with this idea that we need to do more and more and we need to achieve more and more to obtain more and more and TO DESERVE ALL THAT WE WANT. But no one has ever told us when it was enough. Because it is enough. You are enough. 

I believe this is why it’s important to listen to our intuition. Our intuition is the only one telling us “that’s enough!”, “you are enough”. Enough of that.

I am not who I want to be like or who I want to become.

I am not who I think of myself to be. I am not who I think I am.

I am who I will be if I trust my intuition now and follow what it’s whispering to me. My intuition will take me where I need to be and it will guide me to whom I will become.

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo By Chris Liu

Sometimes, my intuition yells at me, and I silence it. Or some days, I do listen but then I remind myself who I think I want to become not knowing I AM already and I simply need to follow the predestined steps I set for myself, before I was even born. I know who I am. Do not doubt your intuition. I have left my intuition as a gift to me in this life to use. I call myself to use it to reach my destination and my destiny. To reach myself.

You are not who you want to be like or who you want to become. You are not who you think of yourself to be. You are not who you think you are. 

You are who you will be if you trust your intuition now and you follow what’s whispering to you. Your intuition will take you where you need to be and it will guide you to become who you are to become. 

The way you describe your work reflects your inner self - how your job is related to your hidden self
Photo by Emma Matthews

As a conclusion, your perception of your job reflects your inner self and you struggle to fight that by putting on a mask in opposition to how that perception makes you experience life or makes you feel emotions or feelings you do not wish to. Your mask is made up of emotions that generate positive vibes, feelings and mostly ENERGY that balances out your POWERFUL INNER TRUE SELF. We are searching for harmony to balance the inner self and the desired self. Harmony can be achieved by following our intuitions. Step by step.

Reflect on the way you describe your job. How are you, really? 

freestocks your job reflects your inner self






What’s obvious to you, may be amazing to others

This idea pretty much connects to the fact that we all have something we are great at or maybe just good enough and we do not trust ourselves enough to “release” it as a product, to market it as a service or to share it online/offline.

I know I am the kind of person that likes its “creations” to be close to perfect before sending it out to the world, although I have to say, I am trying to get out of this “perfectionism box”. Things do not need to be perfect before you do something. My blog is actually a great proof for that. And, well, it’s another proof that, you need planning and careful strategic thinking and actions before you can have hopes of earnings out of it. But even so, expressing yourself, expressing your gift, your talents, your hobbies, your passions not only will make you feel better but will fuel you with more energy. More passion. More action.

So, reading this “What’s obvious to you, may be amazing to others” really opened up my eyes. And I have posed myself this question:

What is it that it’s obvious to me, that may be amazing to others? 

I have some answers. But they are to be kept for myself, for the moment. I am sure you have some answers for yourself too.

This post is actually coming to light because I did not know how else to share a blog post I found extremely helpful, meaningful and enjoyable on one of my favourite platforms to read and share stories, medium.com.

The article is called “The 5 amazing exercises to elevate your creative thinking powers“.

Please find it linked below and get prepared to train your creativity!


markus spiske photography