There is something you can do better than anyone else

“Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” Rumi

I realised today that I am well equipped to spot new ideas, new concepts, new notions, new strategies or better, to handle them in a realistic way, however, I find that most of the times, some of those new things that I would like to implement are ahead of their time. They are from the future, and I discover that people are not ready for massive changes as I was expecting or hoping that they would want to put into practice to also enjoy its benefits, and together to actually create the world that we love living in. The example in this case consists of me discovering the concept of character strengths belonging to Martin E.P. Seligman and the concept of PERMA for well-being. The contribution Seligman brought to the field of psychology impacted it a lot, reminding us all that people are not just labels of mental illnesses but also humans who display their character in the world and who have emotions and lots of strengths. The volume “Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification” written by the founder of positive psychology, Martin E.P. Seligman and researcher Christopher Peterson presents 24 character traits which consist of 6 groups of virtues classified in 24 character strength. You probably know by now that my core character strength is appreciation of beauty and excellence as I wrote about it here.

soul river

When I discovered these character strengths it was the summer of 2012, and it had passed up until that moment 8 years since their discovery and lots of sources to apply the survey or read about them and understand yourself better. And still, that was such a brand new thing that people should focus more on their strengths than their weaknesses. I remember I wanted to get involved in the HR Department for the company I was working at the time to have an influence over how the company was selecting its employees at the time, but the concept was so innovative and different and scary to only care about the strengths and not put such effort into discussing the weaknesses, that my idea failed as ecstatically as it emerged in my head. But just because people were not ready to use an idea at one point in time, it does not mean it is a bad idea or that you should stop pursuing what you wish to become in life. Many years after this incident, and I find myself at my new job toying with the way to handle it so that it gets the real attention and it truly impacts not just me and my well being, but all my colleagues and other colleagues who probably need this but they do not have a voice yet or are quietly waiting for someone to promote it for them.

"Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.

This is one example that I can think of now. But obviously I reached this conclusion because I have payed special attention to my needs and to my self over the years and I know who and how I am, even though I might play it around that I am not entirely sure, just to have game ahead when confronted with enemies. I am a creative strategist in life and in all life’s small tasks. This thing that I can do something ever so small as to promote the information I come across brings me excitement and I do not really remember when was the last time I experienced this in a workplace environment. This is the first sign that you owe it to yourself to chase the fire that ignites your spirit. Because this exploration and pursue of interests will likely bring more inspiration to you, as it does to me, and not just inspiration but insight into who you really are. It will guide you to forge your determination to plant the seeds and expect the flowers. To smell the blooms and to celebrate the colour that’s arrived in your life.

"Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart." Rumi

This appreciation of beauty and EXCELLENCE is actually a strength which contains this skill I have to foresee the possibilities of changes. I am always looking for the novelty, I am always in the run for the newest information with regards to my passions and hobbies. Always seeking new horizons where I can glance over. Where I could be alive. The appreciation of EXCELLENCE is portrayed through my constant vibrant calling towards avant-garde-ist notions, products, services and abstract information or knowledge.

how to build your character strengths
Photo Credit – Annie Spratt

When you let your passions show and you work with them, you experience well being. When you know your core character strengths, you are able to cope with making every single second a powerful well being act show, because you know what to focus on. You know what you need. And when you know what you need, you will find yourself in the position of the author holding the pen to his life being written down. It’s not someone else holding it, it is YOU.

PERMA concept stands for this new theory of well being – Positive emotions, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment. Now, the path to this well being is reflected through feeding your spirit with character strengths activities that bring you more in connection to your soul and boost your self esteem and self confidence to the point that your overall productivity gets enhanced and this mirrors back in your workplace, your accomplishments and eventually your well being.

how to build your character strengths
Photo Credit – Annie Spratt

To nurture your character strengths you need to first discover them. Do the free survey online here and find ways to incorporate activities to feed your character strengths in your work environment. Since my core character strengths is appreciation of beauty and excellence, it would not mean I will start collecting art at work, unless I am working for an art gallery, it means I focus my attention on developing further this skill in recognising excellence in everything that is new, futuristic maybe even, and beautiful through its significance, in the meaning it plays out in the world.  And that’s true sharing knowledge and wisdom through posts, feeding in ideas to improve services, products or businesses or getting involved in any activity that makes me express my appreciation of beauty and excellence.

One way of taking responsibility means to take action by taking small steps every day in order to make your dreams come true. Your first small step is figuring out what are your character strengths. Your second step depends on what those strengths are and how you feel you can become that which the strength is calling you to become. Then, all the other steps will fall into place.

how to build your character strengths

And remember this:

“Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” Rumi

Nourish your MUST – Did you read this?*

*should and must in the pursuit of passions and dreams 

would you hire me link

 

What truly makes me feel accomplished, successful and happy

I remember working for someone many, many years ago and reaching a point when I received a sort of promotion in the form of more money towards my salary. Even though I appreciated receiving more for the work I was putting in, because I did deserve it, as I am extremely reliable, serious and hard working, that did not make me happier or feeling more accomplished or believing of myself to be successful. And that’s because success to me translates to something totally different than what might signify to you or to other people.

success

I find success to be something personal and the word itself means something different to another person. Even to you, reading this out, success might come in the form of a huge following online, getting lots of clients or customers, achieving a specific level up, going up in the walk of life or simply more money, more power to buy certain things or services.

what makes me feel successful

I realized that this definition we all have for success comes from our core values and our character strengths. Every single one of us is different and we all have different values and character traits and strengths. A couple of years ago, when discovering the positive psychology field, I read the basics of it and where it all started and that was through Martin Seligmans books. One of them explored the idea of the science of our characters and a survey he created along with late Dr. Christopher Peterson, changed my world.

what makes me feel successful happy accomplished satisfied with my work

I discovered that what would make me happy in work so that I can tell the world the well known affirmation I am successful, accomplished and happy with my life is made up of 6 character strengths put into 4 core values categories. Understanding these concepts, makes it easier for me and for you as well, if you would like to take the survey (VIA classification survey) to cope with your personal story of the meaning of success and to be happy in life.

digital detox plan 2018

These character strengths I owe are as follows: ranking first place – appreciation of beauty and excellence, second place, creativity, third place honesty, forth place, love, fifth place judgement and sixth place love of learning. These concepts which in their own significance explain so much more about what success and happiness in life is, make me who I am and how I am. Appreciation of beauty and excellence is something I work with through my blog, through all the small (or large) businesses I follow and enjoy shopping from as beauty is not just being beautiful, beauty is something from within too, beauty is being eco friendly, beauty is shopping ethically, beauty is being kind, compassionate, beauty is spirituality and appreciation of art, nature, music, writing, dance, everything that is beautiful in my own realm of beauty. And if you have this character strength, then whatever you are attracted to, that is your way of displaying appreciation of beauty and excellence. I find excellency comes from that beauty, as beauty is something close to perfection and perfection is very hard to attain, it is connected to doing your best in everything you do to obtain that excellent job. And that is beauty too. I am sharing my appreciation of beauty and excellence in this post here. Find out what I appreciate, follow and to whom I would like to collaborate, who inspires me and what composes my human nature and being.

creativity what makes me feel successful

Creativity is my second character strength and something I need to use to be happy with the work I put. Growing up, I always attempted to learn how to be creative and to actually display creativity and to make sure I would become a formidable human being, much like an artist that changes the world, failing to recognize that I am already creative and you are too. We are all creative already. Doing exercises to improve or enhance or boost our creative natures is helpful and advisable especially for the brain, that always seeks new food, however, exercising it needs to go more on the side of practicing rather than just reading about it. I like to be creative. I like to do things in a different way, I find this is something that makes me stand out. That forces me to be put into the light. But I want to be creative not for the sake of it, rather to bring something useful, meaningful and enjoyable to humanity too. Maybe this is why I am writing on this blog, maybe this is why I studied psychology and have always wanted to work in a field of psychology that is new, different, more creative and have always found that positive psychology is something I am passionate about, ecopsychology is a new field I am interested in, graphotherapy, which I find extremely useful and easy to put into practice or color therapy that is so wonderful to work with, art therapies and everything in this modern world that is innovative, such as video therapy or the blooming of Virtual world and devices, that will probably come up with a way to do virtual therapy too. I am all into that. Love is and would be something I would look forward to contribute with. And to do that, I have the other character strengths to help with, one of which would be the love of learning and judgement. These last 2 concepts are valuable to me just as much as all the others are, because I am a life long learner and I enjoy finding new things out, I discover that this trait makes me very open minded. Being open minded is very important for the present time and it will be for the future as well, because lots of innovations will come to us and we need to be open to learning and to judge its need into our own inner worlds. Judgement is a character strength I currently work with actually, because I am working in the Fraud Department in a call center, and this along with the other core strength which ranks third, that is honesty, is making me resist in the job I do, even though it is a call center. Honesty is also connected to appreciation of beauty and excellence. Excellence can only be attained through honesty, through love. Love of people and of truth. And then we end up this self centered speech (although sometimes, we need to be self centered to make sure we do know ourselves and we are able to find out right place in this world) with my most important character strength that I do not believe finds much place in the workplace, rather in my personal life, which is love. Family life is the one that matters mostly for me and love is needed for me to maintain my balance, my purpose, my vision. And love is included into appreciation of beauty and excellence as well, because it can speak of humanity, of spirituality, of wisdom, of life. What would life be without love?

what makes me feel happy successful and accomplished

The core virtues are composed by all your character strength and they mention a notion that encompasses it all under one name. My core virtues are transcendence, wisdom, courage and humanity. What does this mean? It means that under these names falls everything that will make me happy, will make me feel successful, will make me feel and be accomplished. I am working on all these aspects, and based on Martin Seligman’s approach, if you work with only 4 of your character strengths (at your current job), you will feel happy in work and ultimately that brings happiness into your life, as you feel successful since you are working with your character strengths. With your strengths, which I believe show your passions, show where your talents are and portray your vision of life, and maybe your mission, if you dig deeper.

What are your character strengths and do you use them in your work life? 

what are your character strengths.jpg

Are you spiritually fit ready? 

People train their bodies to look good, and to be healthy. But how many train their spirits as well, to be fit? The next step in our evolution is spiritual fitness, which according to Jeffrey Allen, a spiritual teacher and energy healer, is a measurement of our progress in our spiritual growth. What is this spiritual fitness you may ask? It is the answer to the the following:

Why, giving the same spiritual training and coaching to groups of people, some integrate the knowledge easily and put it into practice smoothly and can gain considerably from it, whilst others seem to struggle practicing what they were thought? 

The answer to that resides in this concept “spiritual fitness” – as with all new learning there is the stage in which you put a lot of energy, time and struggles, pretty much comparing it to climbing a mountain to reach the top, then once there, going downhill, it’s easy and much more enjoyable, exactly how it feels after you have learned something and you practice it with joy and self esteem that you can do this – that’s how spiritual fitness manifests when you are fit. You can easily learn new concepts and grow better and easier if you have reached the top and you go downhill (new information, spiritual insights, teachings are better learned and practiced) than if you go uphill. When you are up already, therefore spiritually fit, it allows you to reach your highest potential. If you are not physically fit to run a marathon, you will not finish it. If you are maybe a dancer or a football player, chances are, you will cope better with running it.


Just as in the past physical fitness seemed something weird, yet now it is something normal and even expected, spiritual fitness is a global movement and if a couple of years ago, meditation was seen as way too hippie or out of this extroverted world, now it is accepted, embraced and it moves the world towards a global spiritual movement. It is needed. 

For this reason, spiritual fitness is a lifestyle choice, just like being a vegetarian or a vegan is. And we will all have to bring our level of spiritual fitness up so we can operate at our heighest selves. So we can enjoy the many benefits such as a life where synchronicities happen all the time, where life flows easily and we can enjoy ourselves so much more being in tune with the universe, with this new energy that arrives. 

Being spiritually fit means that all the things that bothered you so far, simply do not do it anymore as you understand better yourself and the world, it also signifies that if you find yourself in a situation that up until that moment you could not cope with, now, embracing the spiritual fitness concept, you discover it’s easy to move yourself out of it gracefully. 

How up is your spiritual fitness level? 

If I weren’t afraid, I would …

While I was considering whether to post this or not, I could say that even the existence of this post would follow the title. I am writing this in the hope that this exercise will help someone in the same way it helped me. I am reading a new book which I would not like to disclose more about here, as, I need to get a firm grip of how I can put its content into words, without sounding like a weirdo. In this book, I am learning about myself. One of the things explained there, relates to our spirits.

Our spirits give us life.

fearless

Recognizing that it’s your spirit that gives you life helps you recognize the formidable force that is YOU. Your spirit has its own presence – a unique vibration, that’s totally distinct from your personality (which to a large degree is formed as a defensive shield around your spirit). The best way to connect with your spirit is to start recognizing what makes you come alive. Why do you need to connect with your spirit? So, that your life can follow its destiny easily, so that your life flows, so that you are happy and content and you get the best chances to fulfill your life. The book highlights specific questions we can ask ourselves to explore what our spirits are really like. These questions seem more like those questions for personal development and career discovery tools. They are something like this: Where in your life do you feel the most competent? or What activities engage you so fully that you lose yourself? or What lifts and inspires your soul? Now, these questions I have come across a myriad of times and they never really spoke to me deeply. I could not relate that much. However, there is one question, which you can guess from the title, or more, an affirmation exercise, which clicked something in me. It made me open up. This is as follows:

If I weren’t afraid, I would …

overcoming fear combating fear

If I weren’t afraid, I would share with you everything that I wrote for this exercise. But I am still learning to do that. 

If I weren’t afraid, I would resign and move back home, rent a 1 year studio, live life with my husband as if we were rich and find our exactly what we want to do and do everything we have never done before together.

If I weren’t afraid, I would buy a camera and a good laptop and start doing Youtube professionally or creatively.

If I weren’t afraid, I would take all the courses I wanted to take part in all these past years to see why they are of such interest to me and to have more knowledge about the subjects, get a diploma, maybe even reveal my vocation.

If I weren’t afraid, I would visit Portugal, Italy, Greece, Spain and other foreign places.

If I weren’t afraid, I would play more (for example I would make my own dresses based on dresses I love from designers I can’t afford now)

how to deal with fear and failure

If I weren’t afraid, I would dress up more.

If I weren’t afraid, I would play with make up.

If I weren’t afraid, I would have a cat or 2.

If I weren’t afraid, I would buy a piece of land and do my own ecological house. See this link so you can understand what I mean.

If I weren’t afraid, I would create a digital magazine.

If I weren’t afraid, I would be less secretive…

If I weren’t afraid, I would have more fun. Be more open. Believe more in people.

how to stop fear in your life

If we weren’t afraid of our self-critiques, we would feed more our spirits and be more fulfilled. We would be better equipped to deal with ourselves first and foremost, and then, be prepared to help others do the same. We could live in paradise. Do you know what experiences, activities and energies give you strength and fortify and nourish you at your core, leaving you feeling satisfied, content with life and comfortable in your own skin? I do know, deep down inside. If I weren’t afraid, I would pursue that. I would share that. I would act on it. I could be successful.

What delights and surprises you, what draws you into life, helping you to embrace it head on and brings you to peace within yourself? That’s what this If I weren’t afraid, I would… exercise is all about. This specific exercise awakened my spirit and when this happens, you are more connected with yourself and are able to see your path clearer. When this thing happens, the next one is that, you start implementing small changes which will lead you to your joyful life goal and purpose.

I have learned to take notice of what fortifies and feeds my own unique spirit, paying special attention to how sensitive and aware I am of it.

Do you nurture your spirit with the experiences it needs in order to thrive? 

how to live with fear

What’s your color? (Personality test)

The pleasure of seeing color is undeniable. But did you know that color preference reveals subconscious secrets, complex individual mental and emotional characteristics? The following color test will allow a deeper exploration of your personality and it will put a name for what is happening in our subconscious, shedding light to profound and subtle insights of your self. Take the test and discover more about yourself!

How does it work? 

First, take a look at the following 8 colors.

Colour personality test

The choice of certain colors can reveal emotional and physical deficiencies and imbalances as well as powerful positive aspects of the personality of which the individual may not be aware. It can provide guidance as to how to take responsibility for overcoming problems and make the most of potential strengths.Choose 3 colours in the order that you prefer at this moment. It is important to pick your colours intuitively, without allowing mental evaluations and judgments to interfere. Forget about your favorite colours, or anything that a particular colour may remind you of. Choose without too much thought.

Now have your 3 chosen colours separately in order of your preference. First, Second and Third. 

personality colour test color me

The first colour represents the essence of an individual. It expresses who you really are, reflecting your basic personality and suggests how you would normally respond to everyday situations. It is the expression of your True Self. It can also represent the predominant colour you are expressing at any given time.

The second colour speaks of the present. It relates to your current condition on all levels of the here and now: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. This colour is usually the colour you need to work with immediately and reflects your deep, subconscious needs, deficiencies or weaknesses. It also represents your main challenge.

blue color personality test

The third colour stands for your objectives, and tells you how to achieve them. This is the colour which reflects your innermost hopes, visions, and dreams, pointing to the direction of your destiny, and indicating the next step to take. Growth is possible here, if you are willing to take full responsibility for satisfying your needs. The colour of the third choice shows you what kind of constructive action you need to take in order to bring about a new, fresh perspective.

So now, listen to each interpretation for each colour and its choice position to understand yourself better. Enjoy!

Red in the first position

Red in the second position

Red in the third position 

Yellow in the first position

Yellow in the second position

Yellow in the third position

Orange in the first position

Orange in the second position

Orange in the third position

Green in the first position

Green in the second position

Green in the third position

Turquoise in the first position

Turquoise in the second position

Turquoise in the third position

Blue in the first position

Blue in the second position

Blue in the third position

Violet in the first position

Violet in the second position

Violet in the third position 

Magenta in the first position

Magenta in the second position

Magenta in the third position

Curious about what my colours were? First position I am Green, second position I am Turquoise and third position I am Blue.

choose your colour color test personality                                                     This test should be taken every 3 months as your colour choices will probably change. There is a definite correlation between the colors which people react to and particular traits of personality, which holds whether they react positively, negatively or with indifference. I believe this personality color test has proved this to you as well.

What are your colours

 

 

 

What I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities

Apart from experiencing the obvious regret of failing to accommodate my brain and my attitude to handle the opportunities life threw at me, there is something else that happens when you realize you are not taking full advantage of your potentials. That is, in my case, all the things that I have discovered about myself because I missed the opportunities. First of all, I also missed opportunities right when I was facing them, in the sense that, that specific opportunity intimidated me so much, that I could not grab it. That, is unbelievable a powerful self disappointment, which transforms your future self adjusting to opportunities in 2 ways: one, realizing that the opportunity wasn’t quite as you expected it to be, or it is not really such a huge opportunity, but because you were so close to it, you managed to actually realize that, which in my case, made me understand I am a powerful opportunity myself (great to see that when in front of another opportunity, it’s a bit of a comparison type of enhancing one’s self esteem and self image) and two, one opportunity can actually develop a new opportunity in your life, because you took advantage of the first one, like a rolling snow ball effect. However, how equipped are you to actually have the courage to take the opportunity to achieve that?

what I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities

I know I am not that well trained in that direction. Moreover, I find myself criticizing everything I am inspired to do because of my perfectionist aura, hence sabotaging myself, lacking the courage to actually confront my fears and grab that opportunity. So, this is, what I have learned from my missed opportunities experiences:

  • I am afraid of a certain degree of success, because I am afraid I am not able to handle it because I never had a success to know how it feels or what it actually means
  • I am ashamed to ask for certain things from people, even when I know that could help me because I feel I do not deserve it and this is because of my perfectionism
  • I am embarrassed when I meet new people who have tremendous success and they are so much younger than me as this shows, at least to me, that I have not had that much drive to actually stand out and that’s because I am not really sure if I really want to stand out and be the actor or if I would rather prefer to simply have a comfortable seat to watch the show
  •  I don’t feel ready to take the leap and get out of my comfort zone because I do not think that to have success you must force something that you do not enjoy. I believe success comes from something you do easily and with joy
  • I am scared not that I will fail, but rather that I will possibly have a TOTAL COLLAPSE
  • I would not take an opportunity if I feel I have to stretch more than I feel comfortable to
  • I experience nervousness and its physical symptoms and I cannot cope with that stress (this happens when that amazing opportunity appears and I am told to go for it)
  • I become inhibited when I am in front of the great opportunity – my voice is lowered in volume, it kinda becomes shaken and blurred, I cannot find my words and my body language tells the other person I am shy. But that is not being shy. That is much worse. It’s intimidation. Inhibition. And inhibition is felt as if I have a block, a wall, a stop in front of everything I wish I could be or do at that time. It is transforming me into someone uncomfortable in my own skin, it makes me super aware and conscious of all my flaws and it gets in my way of accelerating my success. It’s a fail.
  • I am way too conscious of how I am perceived to the point that I deny myself different things, from kindness to gifts, to pleasures of life and even peace of mind. I torment myself with how stupid I could have been.

missed opportunities teachings wisdoms

These would be a few of the flaws that become visible now to you as well when I miss an opportunity or when it presents itself in my face and I look at it and let it pass by, making a strong long felt miserable impression of myself as well.

But there is also good things that come from missed opportunities and from all the flaws that make themselves seen when failures occur. This is positive aspects I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities and my missed opportunities feelings:

  • I am highly emotional and yet I have a rare degree of balance to which I can turn to find self comfort. This makes me overly sensitive and this hypersensitivity causes fear, timidity and lack of self confidence along with feeling overwhelmed by my self consciousness, but all of this spring from positive characteristics I possess such as my acute awareness and intuition. I am like an antenna for other people’s feelings and I often know before a word is spoken how they feel. I would not be able to have this capacity if I would not have experienced it myself. As a result, I have an enormous empathy for the inner turmoil of others and can do much good for people with emotional problems, something I intuitively felt a long time ago, when I decided to pursue my vocation as a psychotherapist or counselor, or healer of some sort. Which I didn’t, but that does not prove anything. I am in a position of helping people anyway, and I am learning patience everyday, every single moment. Hard times, hard jobs make you discover even more your personal power and even if I had not had the courage to follow my path in the first place as I chose it, I know it was a road I had to travel to become how I am today.
  • All the flaws I have are also qualities. Without my sensitive nature I would not have been aware of people’s expectations of me. I would not have been that easy to work with, therefore making my way in life easier and my life flowing like a river instead of a stormy sea and I would not have understood myself so well.
  • Due to my intuition, I am more sensitive, making my path a little easier and more direct, because I intuitively know the appropriate next step.
  • My perception of life is somehow more acute than others (when comparing myself with other peers) as I feel I see more clearly (for my future and my self) and more spiritually due to my high degree of sensitivity
  • I have learned to cherish myself more because I am my worst critic.
  • I value one particular lesson the missed opportunities taught me: I will be better prepared for the next opportunity
  • I am actually an optimist, a dreamer, someone that can see into the soul of things and I feel totally impractical at times. But this keeps me going through failures. If I missed an opportunity I know it is because I have to miss this one to be able to see better and grab the next one that is to arrive.
  • I do not believe in miracles, or that the next opportunity will not come. I know miracles exist and I know the next opportunity will arrive, so I would rather get myself ready for it. I rely on opportunities and miracles!
  • I became more creative and inventive after one opportunity missed, because I create in my head all the things I could have said and done to attract it better in my life, to contribute to my success. This creative exercise works again, to prepare me for the next occasion.
  • The paralyzing effect that some opportunities make me experience taught me something positive about myself as well: I can overcome that, no matter how difficult it appears to be. I am able to not let my feelings and emotions play too big of a role by accepting what I feel at that time, acting with flaws, being like I am in those moments (and possibly seen as shy and not that smart or wise, since my speech becomes so poor) and forgiving myself once I overcame it.
  • I learned to forgive myself for these failures and spread confetti in my heart. If I will not do that, I will never stop being so critical of myself, I might never let go of my Utopian goal and will forever be miserable since pursuing an unrealistic ambition, such as perfectionism in everything I am (even though mine is quite sincere), will make me lose perspective and feel dissatisfied not only with myself, but with others too, as the perfectionism style will surround my perception of my dear ones experiences as well. Human existence is relative. It is not black and white. It is a lot of shades of grey. Understanding this, being conscious of this will form the basis for my self love and true happiness. And I believe it can help you too.
  • One last thing that I would like to mention I have learned about myself from my missed opportunities resides in the fact that the regret of missing it, will make me, the next time another one presents itself at my door, to actually get out of my comfort zone and try to regret the paralyzing effect rather than the lack of it and its wise teachings.

What did you learn from your missed opportunities? Share them with me in the comments down below! 

what I have learned from missed opportunities wisdoms

Creative vs. Artistic

I just realized that whenever I was thinking of myself on how to be more creative, my mind was actually taking the notion of “creative” as the synonym to “artistic”. These 2 concepts are different. They integrate themselves, they collide into each other, however they are not the same thing. The reason we hold a specific definition to a concept is in my opinion based on our motivations, desires and personal values. The fact is that I wish to be artistic because I value art, I see it as a form to pinpoint cultural aspects or society trends or different personality traits or aspects we all must work on to improve not just ourselves and our lives, but our society as well. I realized that I am actually drawn to wish to become artistic, to have something of value to offer, to bring something to change people’s lives. To offer support and help and be someone that is looked at for insights, wisdom, purpose, beauty, creativity and lifestyle. But that they are all under this umbrella of “artist”. I want to be an artist of life.

I always misunderstood the concept of being creative to being artistic. Being creative is showing our originality to the world. Being artistic is showing that originality but teaching something through it. Impacting society, people’s lives. Impacting. Like magic.

creativity vs artistic

The 3 secrets of magic according to magician Ferdinando Buscena are:

  1. Reality is not always what it seems to be
  2. Imagination creates reality
  3. Reality is made up of words

I should be a magician. I want to offer my magic to the world. Through writing. But artistic writing.

To imagine something different, something better or something more interesting is to push the existing world into a state of change. Some of the greatest revolutionary acts of time came to be because someone had the courage to imagine something new. It’s not that I do not have the courage to imagine something new. I want to showcase that as an act of avant-garde, as something artistic, as something totally different than ever before. I am unique.

However, there are times when it’s easy to be distracted and forget about your “magic”. It’s too transforming. Too life changing probably. Or too artistic to be understood. Too dramatic maybe? I have realized this need in myself to explore this creativity that wishes to be artistic. To be an artist of something. I have not discovered that yet.

If it is true that imagination creates our reality, then we can view ourselves as alchemists (Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist, if you read that, you understand this in full), able to transform society and the culture at large with our words and ideas. We have the power to heal our lives and those of our dears ones with the magical energy that comes from our imaginations. Just by documenting our ideas, we can begin the process of change. It’s time to begin. This is a manifesto for myself. But you might find yourself involved in it as well. And I invite you to begin this journey of finding out what your artistic skills are with me. Sir Thomas Browne said: “We carry within us the wonders we seek without us.” This is probably going to be the first post in a series of articles based on discovering our true wonders.

Do you do the same? Do you secretly wish to be magic, an artist of life like me? 

Fall in love with your job

There are 3 ways you can fall in love with your job. The first one is to work in that field you have a passion about. The second is by achieving success in that type of activity you do, which ultimately will lead your heart to loving the job you are doing, because you are successful and you are valued for what you deliver. The third is when you try to accommodate yourself to the job, by using your skills, talents or passions at your current workplace, by either doing some extra activities (usually not paid) but that you truly enjoy and make you really love your job or by actually moving into a new role simply because the company you are working for needs that and you happen to be the right person at the right time. But this rarely happens. Or I have not come across this very often.

There is another way that can help you adjust yourself to start falling in love with your job. It is called using your character strengths in your current role or when you are searching for a new job.

A team of German researchers found that those who consider their job a calling use between 4-7 character strengths while performing it. The less character strengths you use, the less interested you are in what you do.

Therefore, once you know your character strengths (you can go to www.viacharacter.org to take the free survey to discover it) you can start using it at work or when you want to apply for a new position.

fall in love with your job character strength

I find this survey extremely helpful, because sometimes the character strengths that portray something we really love is not something we know how to name. I read about this research made on a tribe who had specific names for all green shades, which they could name, even though they were very close in shade. The researchers put these people to name our specific shade of green (the color green as we see it) that we can all name as green (as we don’t really use shades to name the green, it’s just green in our eyes for every shade of green) and they could not name it because they did not see it before. They had no idea that particular shade of green existed prior to the research and they still could not name it. That’s because we grow up with specific notions and concepts and those concepts make us understand the world. If we do not hold a concept for a specific thing, not only we cannot see it, but we cannot name it. And even if we can see it, we won’t be able to describe it. Which makes it harder to act on it.

I feel the same thing happens when we need to pin point what is it that makes us happy at work. First of all, no one teaches us how to do that and secondly, there is no notion of attributes we should have to love our jobs. So, this specific survey The Character Strengths will reveal to you your true traits. The traits that lay hidden inside you, that you can rely on when you are in the state of flow, but that which you cannot name. As you do not know how to name something you appreciate and enjoy doing. I am referring to something very specific in a particular task. As an example, my core character strength is appreciation of beauty and excellence, followed by creativity, honesty, love, judgement and love of learning. Now, if you think about it, what jobs do you see advertised that can offer me that? The feeling of appreciation of beauty and excellence, creativity, honesty, judgement? It is a feeling I experience when I create on my blog, but then, who will pay me for my blog? I must have a huge following to start receiving an income just from my writing or sharing stuff here.

My core virtues are transcendence, wisdom, courage and humanity. This translates to me in a job related to healing, teaching, even artists. It is hard to find a job description saying we require artists. So, the true value of this survey consists in the fact that you get to have a name for what makes you happy when you work, you get to have a concept for that specific thing you experience when you are in the state of flow, you get to finally understand yourself better and to make the best of your time at work by following that which brings to you that creative freedom.

Therefore, I strongly recommend for you to take the survey, get a notion for your pleasurable attributes for working and start incorporating that more into your day to day working life or lifestyle in general. I guess it is fine to not necessarily work having to use all your character strengths, but will you feel happy to have that job?

We now have this opportunity to discover those traits and start acting on it. Because just as the people who could not name the green color, yet they could name all shades of green, we have a lack of understanding the basics. The very thing that makes all shades of green. 

And we only need between 4-7 character strengths to say that our jobs bring us joy. Have your first 7 core character strengths revealed here

fall in love with your job core character strength test

What do you need to take the leap?

Vision, time, support, confidence, courage, desire, dreams, opportunities, new horizons, changes, power, health. Words that make up the personality who can choose a path and stick to it. Not wonder around, distracted by wolves, like the Little Red Riding Hood. Stick to your plans no matter the obstacles. Resilience. Resistance. Trust.

take-a-risk-change-your-life.jpg

Probably, I am made of that. You are probably created with those words as well. All parents wish success to their children. I bet yours were not an exception. We were all created and we all came on this Earth with a strong desire to become the best possible version of ourselves. But, to take a risk and go on your own might involve attaining some external expectations as well. Not just yours. Or maybe yours are not that big. Maybe you do not dream to become famous, rich or well known. Maybe you just dream to have a tranquil, beautiful decent life. Not rich, but not poor either. Not stressed, but not bored either. Not monotonous, but not risky or too adventurous either. You probably just want to be at peace. In the flow.

I know I secretly wish that serenity. And the flow. I want to stream like a cold refreshing river: simple, alive, helpful, peaceful and powerful, persistent. Never ending.

A mindset, a motto, a goal dream, a vocation, a passion, an obsession. We all live these feelings. These words are more than just words, they are filled with sensations, with emotions, with memories, with wishes, with vivid images of our desires and needs. It’s a cocktail. I am drunk. I drink too much dreams. I make my own dreams and then immerse myself in them, daydreaming. No action though. No steps to realize them, to actually live them, instead of breathing the illusion of living it.

I find that the urge to do something comes in waves, sometimes a persistent itch, that makes me wanna scratch it until I bleed, sometimes as a passing thought in my train of daydreaming thoughts. And I do not pay enough attention to it. I know I am capable of a lot. But am I really capable? Or I am lying to myself, giving myself the time to let the time pass by and then have the excuse, it’s passed my time to try that or change something? I feel my unconscious mind is doing a sabotage to me. So, that I won’t feel the pain of failure.

Because failure is so scary. At least to me. And that’s how perfectionism is born within a human soul.

I am trying to do that exercise with imagining all the possible worst case scenarios and having a back plan for everything, however, I do not trust myself enough with it. I feel I will regret the decision of taking the leap. Thinking I would have wasted my time. Thinking I would have lost energy, money and time. Time is of exceptional precious importance and value to me. It’s fundamental. Because I use time to make money. I use time to obtain energy to make money. I use time to daydream. I use time to do things. It’s why I am so careful with to whom I am giving my time.

And at a close look, I, most of the time, use it to work in an environment that does not contribute to my well being overall. It does not make me grow. It became monotonous. And it is taking my energy. My spirit. My glow. Like in the old Sailor Moon cartoons, when villains would take away the souls of innocent people to feed their lives, their time, their success, their power. I am giving my power to something I do not particularly enjoy. What am I talking about, I totally dislike it. I am in it for the money. I want to be in it for the sake of it.

For fun.

I want to have fun. To be in the flow. To enjoy my time at the office. I want constant positive wonderful uplifting change. Satisfaction. Like a spring water discovery feeling. Like a waterfall. But, for my soul.

I realized I need vision. I need resistance with myself in all environments. It’s not that I am not though. I am. But I am weak in face of adversity. I am resistant. But in face of resistance, I fail to trust myself or learn to trust my strengths more, rather I succeed in getting my faith weakened. And then doubts start creating a web in my heart.

Do you question weather you deserve a different life?

I read that question recently, and I keep asking myself for an answer. I do not want to sound arrogant to my subconscious mind and I do not need to have self pity or low self esteem thinking that I have not done anything to deserve something better. Because the truth is, no matter who you came to become in life, you deserve happiness, tranquility, health and success in all matters, weather spiritual, emotional or material.

You, like me, deserve to be rich in all forms richness exists.  So, do you question weather you deserve a different life? 

What do you need to take the leap? I think I need strength, vision, support and more small success to start develop a self confidence.

You sharing my blog posts, helping me grow if whatever I journal here, is giving you at least a nano size insight, will give me a boost in my self esteem. It will make me persistent more. It will motivate me. Motivate me!

I don’t really like to ask for help. And maybe this needs to change. Please, share this, if you found it meaningful in any way and do tell me in the comments section what do YOU need to make a change! Sometimes reading about other people’s experiences, can highlight your revelations.

 

There is no monopoly on dreams

I am reading “All grown up” by Jami Attenberg and I got to a chapter in which a very successful, beautiful, wise and independent artist is presented through main character’s eyes. I will quote everything down below as I believe you have experienced as well the feelings portrayed. It is that feeling that someone gives you that they embody everything you wish to be. It is the human being you dream to be, it is that creativity you aspire to show to the world and that will create your future, your freedom, your happiness.

“I sit at the feet of Felicia, the most famous instructor in our program. I am in her apartment in her Logan Square building, which she restored on her own. Like she took a book on home improvement out of the library, read it, and then just did the spackling and electrical wiring and tiling herself because it needed to be done. She dresses in all black, jeans, T-shirts, lacy see-through things sometimes, and she has an amazing body, tough, sinewy, tan arms and a tight ass, and long fairy-dust hair, blond-gray, which she wears in braids sometimes. Also Felicia has incredible jewelry, the real stuff, diamonds and gold and platinum, most of it inherited from an affluent aunt who never had children of her own, although Felicia did apprentice with a jeweler for a while so some of it she made herself. She has 3 solo gallery shows in the next year, one of them in Berlin, and has been commissioned to do an installation in Brazil, where she was basically given a town square to do with whatever she likes. Nothing she owns comes from a man. Everything she touches turns into something bigger. She has made herself out of scratch. I am 26 and I would cut my left tit to be her.”

The emotions those readings give you? You must have felt that with someone too. That is a form of admiring someone so much that their entire life is what you dream your life would become. Reading further “I go wherever she wants me to go and I tell her she’s perfect without her having to ask. I begin to skip classes whenever Felicia calls me. I don’t even think to say no.” A role model. An idol. A dream life. But what I actually desire is that feeling that I imagine she has when I see that person, when anyone else meets this idol of mine. As this expression of perfect life embodied in this person that everyone at some point in their life have met or seen, is surely sparkling those feelings of freedom and success and independence into everyone’s souls.

That goal or dream or objective that you have to be like that and to inspire to someone else those emotions and actions is not always something that society tolerates. Because you must make a career, you must have a house in order to be successful, so that you can feel accomplished, so that you can finally be happy.

And that’s not how it should be. To have a career, to have that house, to achieve that success are all means goals. When you wish for something SO that you can feel or be in a certain way is a means goal. The end goal, the one that makes you truly happy is the one that follows after the SO.

I want to have my own house SO that I can be free and stress free of any mortgages. SO I don’t have to work all the time to pay financial obligations. I want to be independent SO I can travel whenever I feel like and don’t bother with begging for days off work. Everything that follows the SO is an End Goal, the one that offers you that something that truly gives you happiness and peace of mind. It is that feeling we pursue. That is what makes us happy and to be able to say to others we are indeed successful.

Here are 3 most important questions for you to start writing down your end goals and stop pursuing what society tells you to:

1. What do you want to experience in this life? What do you want to see, to be like, to feel, to travel, what is your lifestyle?

2. How do you want to grow to be able to experience life and be able to do in this life? What are you gifted at, what more do you need to be able to do what you want to do?

3. What is your contribution in this life to other people? How do you want to help with the people in this life? What did you experience and learn that you can teach to others? What do you want to give?

Give yourself 3 minutes ONLY to answer each category: Experience, Growth, Contribution. Why only 3 minutes? Because if it’s more than that, your rational mind will alert you about limits that are not helping you become the extraordinary human being you are. Such limits include stupid questions like, who are you to dream you can be the best writer, who are you to deserve luxury and richness, what can you possibly offer to others when you can barely help yourself with your life, career, love etc? You see, all that is what society tells you, it tells you that you cannot be that Felicia you adore. It wants you to obey and not dream as Felicia did and how it worked for her. But I want to tell you, you owe it to yourself to dream, and take that Felicia type human being from your environment and turn it into You. Because there is no monopoly on dreams. Everyone else is concerned in either hating or embracing Felicia, because society wants you to be like that, concerned within your limits. Dream beyond those limits.

How would the world look like if we were all like Felicia? A better, happier place simply because everyone does what they love, what their souls want their bodies to do for them.

Become Felicia. Dream beyond those limits. 

Dream goals