Blogmas 4 – How to feel more joy?

I was writing yesterday all about understanding joy and the difference it has with happiness and I was mentioning that I quoted parts of the article I was reading all the information about and I actually did a test yesterday regarding what is draining my joy and how to feel more joy, and it was spooky accurate, of course, because it is a quiz actually (briefly I will explain the difference to you) and I really think it would benefit you too, in case you missed the January 2020 UK Psychologies Magazine.

Regarding the difference between a quiz and a test, well, a test is usually something that is testing your abilities in something and it gives a percentage of how much you scored based on a majority percentage. A test is usually something that is more connected to our capabilities, whereas a quiz is reflecting something we know about ourselves but it is putting the spotlight on the actual things that we fail to see. A quiz is based on multiple answers and they are all right, they just highlight your personality at that point in time, your thinking and your mood. To be completely honest, from a psychological point of view, a quiz isn’t really that reflective of yourself as it is a test, but a test can only be completed in presence of a psychologist, someone specialised in this area, compared to quizzes that are open largely to the public because they are not clinical, as tests are. So, a quiz will capture alternatives which you choose and they reflect your inner being and mood at that point in time. If you take the same quiz in 10 years worth of time, the outcome could change, because , we as persons evolve every day, who you are today is different from whom you will become in 1 year. Your perceptions and ideas will have altered in time and formed you as you are into a more mature human being.

This quiz is very fun and I really wanted to include this disclaimer, it was not made up by me and it is solely taken from the magazine with the purpose of serving you as my reader and help you in your life, especially at this time of the year.

What you need to do: Select one option from each question and add up at the end of the 10 questions, the number of symbols you have selected, the more symbols of one category, the better, because that’s where you will discover you find your joy, as the outcome will also be included in here. Why is it so accurate? Because you are giving answers very close to something you already feel or know about yourself and adding it all up, the psychologist creating it, made sense of certain traits for the person choosing those particular options. So, let’s begin.

  1. To you, truly joyful people seem: a)alive and switched on b)calm and focused c)confident about the future d)clear about what really matters
  2. Which of these activities would you find the most therapeutic: a) a walk somewhere beautiful b)doing yoga or meditation c)laughing with a good friend d)listening to an inspirational ebook or podcast
  3. At the end of a challenging day, you often feel: a)numb b)frazzled c)worried d)restless
  4. On a group holiday, you’re the one who: a)feels disconnected from the group b)wants to try everything c)plans for all contingencies d)suggests a group activity
  5. You feel at your best when you: a)feel engaged by something new b)know you are making a difference c)are doing something that you are good at d)are doing something creative
  6. For you, joy is something: a)uplifting b)clarifying c)liberating d)spiritual
  7. You will feel more joy when you feel less: a)isolated b)fragmented c)anxious d)directionless
  8. What’s been your biggest time-waster this year? a)scrolling on your phone b)doing too many things at once c)fretting about things that never actually happened d)comparing yourself to others
  9. Your go-to mood lifter is: a)escaping into your fantasy life b)setting yourself a new and exciting challenge c)venting to someone who is supportive d)buying something new
  10. To you, a life well-lived means: a)making the most of every day b)making a difference c)taking every opportunity that comes your way d)being your best self

The outcome shows you what will help you feel more joy.

why we love specific fashion clothes why we wear certain clothes
Photo Credit: @BrookeCagle

If you scored a majority of a) -CONNECTION : Joy often comes in tiny packages that are easy to miss if you spend a lot of time on autopilot. Tuning into joy starts with being present. You may disconnect due to feeling overwhelmed; getting through the day rather than experiencing it. Low mood can be a trigger for retreating into a protective bubble and disconnection can be a survival strategy to make stressful situations bearable. Even daydreaming can mean disconnection if it’s a way of dealing with tough feelings. Designate regular times of day to be in the here and now. It might be on your journey to work, at mealtimes or when you go for a walk. Instead of clicking into distraction mode, bring your mind to the present and notice what you experience through your senses. What can you hear, see, smell and taste? When your mind wanders, bring your attention back by asking “How do I know what I am feeling?” At the end of the day, do a mental review of positive experiences, no matter how small. There are joyful moments everywhere but sometimes you need to train yourself to notice them.

intermittent fasting 1 year experience
Photo Credit – Phi Phi

If you scored mainly b) – SIMPLICITY – Your capacity for joy is diluted if your life is fragmented, or you feel as if you don’t have time to do things properly. You may postpone joy, telling yourself as soon as you’ve caught up, you can enjoy yourself. However, as soon as you get over one hurdle, another appears. If you feel as if you have lost direction, you react by seeking new challenges, when the solution is to do less, not more. Creating a more meaningful life can mean saying no to things that you want to do, as well as those you don’t , to allow space for joy to flourish. Embracing simplicity starts with a switch from living reactively to being proactive and thinking about how you want to spend your time. Happiness is under your control! Start small – swap an hour a day spent on an activity you feel indifferent about to one that you love to enhance your contentment. It can be a simple change – maybe go for a walk at lunch instead of looking at your phone. Bring your daily habits in line with your values and joy will follow.

do people really read blogs or just scroll through the photos
Photo Credit – Annie Spratt

If you scored mainly c) – OPTIMISM – Joy can feel uncomfortable and unsafe, as if you are tempting fate. Joy can be fleeting or may be followed by disappointment, but moments of joy will remain elusive if they are always countered with negative thoughts such as “this thing won’t work or won’t last”. Anticipating the worst is protective but undermines confidence. Trust that allowing yourself to feel joy won’t lessen your resilience. You deserve joy! If you have an insidious inner critic, it will find a way to make you feel guilty for feeling happy or pleased. Try to nurture your inner optimist. Make a decision to treat yourself with compassion and spend time with people who uplift you rather than drain you. Each day, think of 3 or 4 good things that could happen over the following week, however tiny – a conversation with a friend, reading something uplifting, enjoying a walk. It’s about being grateful for good things in advance. Experiencing joy is about training your mind to expect positive things, and to notice them when they happen.

why we love specific fashion clothes why we wear certain clothes
Photo Credit: @BrookeCagle

If you scored mainly d) – PURPOSE = You may seek joy in all the wrong places – external validation, possessions or achievements – but it’s hard to feel joy if you’ve lost sight of what gives you meaning. When you are driven or conscientious, you can do what’s expected of you, rather than what makes your heart sing, so live becomes a series of milestones. You will never feel joy if you are stuck on an achievement treadmill when what you really care about is being part of a community creating something meaningful or helping the world become a better place. Be sure your values and aspirations are truly your own and not imposed on you by others. Start by making time for awe and wonder. Immerse yourself in beauty, the environment or art. Find a way to explore and express your creativity and spend time with like-minded people who inspire you. Nurture the brave part of you that seeks a life less ordinary and try to consolidate your spirituality. Living a life of meaning is always a work in progress but there is much joy to experience along the way.

how to feel more joy quiz

All 4 options actually are great ways to start embracing your life and be more grateful so you can let yourself see the joy all around you. I think from each section, we can all take something and feel more mindful, peaceful and calm.

What score do you think I got the majority of? Which did you?

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