What I have been doing lately
I really enjoy modelling and capturing different emotions through movement, body, facial expressions and expressing myself creatively in photography. A bit of a selfie narcissist too, but I believe most of my love towards modelling comes from a lack of feeling beautiful while growing up. I was not the kind of teenager that was popular or attractive and even though high-school was not as bad as my elementary school was, I remained probably with some hidden traumas which would nowadays emerge through this desperate need of feeling I am beautiful, I am enough, I am desirable in the sense that I am wanted in society for who and how I am and not something that I need to achieve to be accepted or integrated into.
I felt a lot I was marginalised while in school and probably it was because of my shy introverted nature at the time, which sparkled because of this sensation that I was not like the others and I could not relate to anyone. Physical appearance was quite an issue when I was younger. Not that it would have changed today, but when you are growing up, this tends to create barriers and obstacles which may lead later on in life to specific complexes. And I am probably a happy owner of some too. As any other human on this lovely planet.
Feeling a lot left aside was also in part because I was very serious about my studies and maybe, just maybe, I was a bit of a nerd. I did not feel accepted at home very much either. And my struggle to get good grades was so that I would get the attention and love I wanted from my mother. My mom is quite exigent and demands a lot from people around her, maybe because she is doing a lot, but also because she is very capable of doing a lot of things and she kind of expects the same in return. It is quite hard to achieve that when you are her child, I felt, back in my childhood days and this has made me to try harder and harder and manager her expectations accordingly and make sure that at least I was getting good grades if I was not the child that she imagined me to be or look like. As I was growing up, I felt that she was not very happy with my skinny appearance either and it felt like she was embarrassed with me as people would comment on her abilities as a mom as I was too skinny and why was she not giving me food? But, it’s just the way my body is and always has been and will be. People were judging and growing up is very hard to take all that face to face. Nowadays, all this has moved in the virtual world and the online is maybe worse than the offline. So, I can really feel for the teenagers that suffer from cyber bullying or any other type of bullying.
What has all of this confessions to do with this post though, right?
I guess, I am giving you a background to my interest into modelling. Modelling makes me feel accepted and that I am fine the way I am. I can express myself without any guilt that I will be judged and it is the only place that makes me feel I am beautiful. It may sound superficial, but if you have been reading my blog for a while, you know I am not. This is a hidden part of me and I like to pose. I enjoy it and I feel in the flow when shooting or cat-walking.
I am also wanting to give context to how to pose for your wedding, because a wedding gown is something all girls dream of. A beautiful dress in which we feel like princesses, although, I have to confess, I am wanting to be a queen, and not a princess. I feel that I a queen is more prepared to handle the world than a princess. We are all given this illusion that once we wear that picture perfect dress we dream of, not only will we look like a princess/queen but we would also be one, in the sense that we become one when we get married. It’s like the final proof that we are capable of being loved and desired and we have accomplished it. The wedding dress incorporates all our dreams and wishes and it is a manifest for what we desire in life: Perfection, purity, clarity, sparkles, richness, blessings, happiness, a home, our husbands and
Therefore, when women get married, it is not just a society or church type of thing to have a white beautiful dress. It is deeply rooted in our minds and spirits and it is a symbol for femininity. It’s not just a dress. It is US. It is our soul and our minds and everything we are. When we wear our wedding dress, we wear ourselves out to the world, but we tell the world, this is only for my chosen one, for my husband. That’s why our dresses are such a core value in a way to the process of getting married. You would not see a guy feel the same way about his suit. A man would wear a suit various times in his lifetime. A woman only shows her wedding dress once.
Even though some get married multiple times, it does not mean that we do not deeply wish it was for a lifetime each time that might happen. So, understanding these psychological strings, you may very well understand the pressure around the wedding dress and around the bridal shoot on the day. It has to be perfect. Because we, as women are told need to be perfect, we grow up having this as a hidden unconscious goal in our minds and hearts – to be perfect, because in a way, if we are perfect, then we are wanted. We are enough and so, now that we are enough we do deserve it.
Therefore, how to pose for your wedding has to do a lot with your ability to show yourself, to have the courage to portray through your expressions what that dress you chose is all about and why it is representing your soul, your love for your husband and your life. When we see a wedding dress that we like, we immediately like something about it, because something in it speaks to our subconscious mind and there, there is something which has cooked in time and it transformed into that detail of the dress, or into that dress. Those details, lace, sparkles, diamonds, colours, materials etc mean something so intimate to us, that we do not even remember or are conscious about anymore.
To pose gracefully for your wedding first, you need to discover or better said, re-discover, your femininity through those details that you are attracted to show in your wedding gown. Think about why you like a specific dress. Think about what it is that makes it so special in your eyes. Think about why is it that you believe it suits you and what exactly in it, if you could name it, makes it so perfect for you. Is it that it has a specific colour that you really love? And if so, why do you like that colour so much? Does it remind you of something in particular? What happened that, that detail or colour or shape of dress is something you must wear? What about the veil?
What about the hair jewellery? What about the shoes? How do you put all that together and create something unique to you and at the same time it can only make sense in its entire unity, as you have put it together? What are you trying to express through your wedding dress? Are you wanting to tell something to the world? Or are you trying to convince yourself of something by wearing something you know you look good? Are you trying to make an impression on someone? If so, why are you having that desire? Do you think your future husband will like it? Why do you think that? Is it that you want his opinion when you choose the dress? Or do you want to surprise him? Who are you in your wedding dress? (Or who do you want to be in your wedding dress and desperately want to portray that?) Are you your profession? Are you the girlfriend? Are you the lover? Are you a mother? Are you a great woman? Are you someone else? A celebrity? Are you your passions? Are you your lack of things you believe of yourself are lacking of? Are you a woman? Or are you a girl? Is YOU YOU, when you are dressed in your gown? Or someone you aspire to become? Is it you wearing your dress, or is it your dress wearing you?
These are questions to answer in your solitude as sincere as possible, so that you can decide who you really are and how your dress should really be like. Based on that, you will figure out how to pose for your bridal shoot, because you will know what you want to show to others, to your husband, and future children and to yourself. You will know who you are. And when that’s is sorted, you do not need any tips on looking good on your wedding day in your photos. You will rock it!
Photos in this post have a story – I have done a bridal shoot for a wedding blog recently where I was able to play along and imagine myself getting married all over again, and wearing all those dresses I could not afford at the time I got married :P. I have realised that you will look good in any wedding dress. But you will only feel yourself and be yourself and look incredible in that dress that really speaks to your heart (my favourite one is the one below) and transports your soul out of you into the sheer material of your white gown, making you more fragile and vulnerable than ever, but then again, that is what your husband has fallen in love with you. It should only matter what and how you feel like and what and how you feel like holding your partner’s hand.
How to pose for your wedding will come naturally and will look naturally the moment you re-discover what you want to achieve with your chosen wedding dress.
Bridal shoot team Credits: Amazing Photography: @hannahmckernanphotography Models – me (through @cathy_cmpr) & @_joelander (freelance) Beautiful Location: @lissanhousecookstown Stunning Dresses: @creativeideasbridal Luxury Headpieces: @gibsonbespoke Simply beautiful Florals: @innocent_chaos Amazing Hair: @ohsobohohair Stunning Natural Make up: @sakdesigns Great Backdrops & styling: @thisoldhome Stationery: @ciarapatrickdesigns Suits: @deegrahamtailormade Cake: @baked_blessings