It’s not that I am not humble for all the great benefits my comfortable call centre job offers, or that I am not grateful for achieving success in a foreign country in the sense that I get to work in a very demanding and challenging environment mentally due to the nature of my job and cope with the responsibilities of being an immigrant while at the same time, having the best possible job and wage for an immigrant given the conditions of work and the status of immigrants in UK now and it’s not that I feel I am superior to other colleagues who are from this country because of that or that I feel I am better than someone else having my knowledge or having the experience and working in the field that they love compared to the fact that I am not having the privilege (yet, hopefully) to work in what I love giving my time and energy and mental and creative resources for. It’s about the fact that all these aspects mentioned add up to a list of other skills I have and I sometimes or maybe should say, most of the times, feel that people close my doors in my face simply because they fear I might want to go after their managerial positions.
Because I am very powerful, I am extremely skilled at executing a job, no matter what type of activity that may be, I do the job, I do my best to exceed, not your expectations (as a manager or as a company), but my own high perfectionist expectations and due to all these factors, people see me as responsible, reliable, witty, smart, very serious (because I take my responsibilities very seriously) and capable of delivering the desired results (and it is the truth, not just me bragging, I am saying this in the most humble way possible). And being in this way, has its consequences, because even though I work very hard, I do not feel I am appreciated enough for what I do. I feel even more is put on my shoulders and people fail to actually see how much energy I put into my work (not just because I am a foreigner speaking a different language, coping with a different culture, while at the same time, coping with my own struggles for consuming so much energy mentally to do the job as an immigrant, plus the additional stress that comes along with the job itself) to actually deliver the results expected of me. People feel it comes naturally to me and it is easy, but that’s only what I let to be seen. On the inside, I struggle. Maybe more than those people that express their struggles vocally and maybe are not really that much struggling, rather complaining and then, I feel even more rage – at myself, first, because I wonder, why am I trying so hard since everyone else around me tries so little? , – at my co-workers who in my opinion, whine (sorry, no offence intended, just something I noticed, since I am an extraordinary observer – another special skill I have) and at my company too, because it does not care about my mental health, though I am supposed to care about it for its customers. I may be whining too, just a little, in this raging post. But with what I am different than any other person whining, is, that I whine once and good, and maybe for good too, I get over it and then go after what I need to achieve. I do not have time to whine every single second about the smallest things. That’s dragging the day to me, gets me bored and frustrated and makes my day be less productive than if I just had one day of complaining, getting the fuss out and then start all over again, like a tabula rasa.
Most of the times, when and if I applied for a different position or job (with a different company) I felt that the recruiters who were most of the times, going to be my direct managers, if hired, feared that I might take their jobs. And that is something, not that I would never consider doing, but would never be something I WANT TO DO. I am so not interested into working as a manager. For anyone. If I am ever going to be a manager, that’s going to be the manager of my own life and my own business.
So, please, stop fearing so much, I will not take your job. Stop saying I am “not adequate for the position I applied for” or “lack the capabilities, experiences and skills needed for the job”, when we both know it’s not the case. I am actually interested in making a difference with my job, comfortably working in a creative position or a job that requires little supervision, as I am extremely self sufficient and once thought how the job is expected to be done, I excel at it. Not just in the quality of the outcome but in the delivery time as well. I am fast and like to finish the job as soon as possible. Because, who knows, you might let me finish early. And I love that as a job perk, by the way.
Remember this before declining my application, please.
Are you that good and serious too, that managers create obstacles for you of fear you might be interested in stepping into their managerial shoes?