Chocolate. Tea. Tomatoes. Bed. Rice milk. Organic. Nature. Ba-na-na! Homemade bread. YouTube. Instagram. Day dreaming. Colors. Handwriting. To-do lists. Stationery. BOOKS. That pretty much summons up what I enjoy in life at the moment. And you may even call some of them bad habits.
Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming someone famous (translation: worthwhile for the humanity) for something that I created. Obviously what I imagined myself creating while quite very young was different each year through my childhood and teenage stage afterwords. When I was 7 I remember my uncle bought me some doll sized kitchen toys and I was able to design the style of my invented home. Ever since I was very little I always wanted to have a home. My own home, I mean. Not my parent’s. I had 4 Barbie Dolls that each came in my life gradually, with which I spent my days creating them a perfect life, with perfect creative luxurious homes and clothes and lifestyle that I made for them based on what I was seeing in magazines, on TV and outside in the world or on my friends Barbies or sometimes things that I had seen in my dreams or that I invented it was useful. They all (my Barbies) obviously had a Perfect Prince that loved them and would save their lives from something horrific I would imagine as a kid through the games we played. The last Barbie Doll I received was when I was 12 years old when I actually confronted my mother that she is actually Santa Clause. This last doll was the prettiest of them all, had long blonde hair, with blue eyes, with a lovely pink gown and even had pink boots. Which was amazing. I never had a doll up until that moment that had boots. I did not have names for my Barbies. They were all a part of me in a way, they were an extension of something concrete that I imagined and it happened. A beautiful being, dressed beautifully, with great style and having a wonderful home, dreaming of becoming the best Barbie of them all. My Barbie was Cinderella, she was Snow White, she was The Little Red Riding Hood sometimes. She was a Princess, but she was all of them in one. She was EVERYTHING. I cannot really tell why is it that I was so attracted to be everything. Anyway that did not change much. I still day dream of becoming everything that it is innovative, meaningful, enjoyable and helpful in the world. I was on this quest ever since I was born. I wanted badly to achieve something. Because I did not know who I am without that. The lifestyle is a form of myself communicating externally in a visual way who I am so I can express myself.
Back in my childhood, I remember when I was visiting in the summers my grandma, I had the privilege of living that imagined invented life for my Barbies (and in a way for myself as well, as I was all my Barbies). I had my own room. A very vintage like cozy place, with walnut wooded furniture, with high, big, large windows, with beautifully designed and long bohemian drapery, with all the wonderfully colored scarves that my grandma had, along with her lacy lingerie and her minimalist precious stones jewelry, with a fascinating red Persian carpet on the wooden floors and with a fireplace stove that was the hallmark of the times when my grandparents lived their youth. It had light during the day and it was a beautiful light that surrounded the whole room, making it the most beautiful room in the whole house. That was also my mother’s room when she was a child. In that room there is still a big painting showcasing an image of nature with a tent in the evening, and with some vegetable stew being prepared outdoors, a family that looked like it was inviting you there, in that frame. Growing up in such a tranquil and aesthetically pleasing environment not just for the senses, but for the mind, no wonder my mom is such a delightful creature. She can sometimes be very mean. But so does that room if there is a storm outside, and the light does not work, and there is no fire made up to make it warm. And I was enjoying this “la dolce vita” of my childhood every summer, sometimes even on winters. So no wonder I wish to live in that style now. Blame my ancestors.
Oh, I forgot to mention. The room I was staying when I was visiting my grandparents had and still has a beautiful bookcase. My mother’s collection actually. So books were a huge part of my life ever since. Memories of that are so magnetic that I instantly feel how blessed I felt staying in that room, in that house, in that environment, in those times, in that resplendent love I was receiving from everywhere at that time. From MY books, from MY bed, from MY vases filled with flowers from the garden my grandparents had, from MY freedom.
It is a fact that my Barbie was in a bliss state of mind when on summer holidays. That room meant freedom for me. The freedom to enjoy myself. To live in the moment. With years going by, I did not go as often as I did when I was a child to my grandparents. I miss having mind and linden tea in the morning and at night with my grandma. Unfortunately she is no longer on Earth. While she was, she was my second mom, and she was an excellent tea maker and storyteller. She was illustrating in such a divine manner everything that was happening in life, and she made me feel alive simply because her presence was THE LIGHT. She was an accountant. She was very down to Earth, and she has created during her time on Earth a superb vintage heritage.
The bed in which I’d spent my nights is the best bed I slept in. Even if it is the oldest bed ever or the most wrecked one, it is the best bed in the world. I learned in that bed to appreciate sleep. And that’s why in these days I love to sleep. I am probably trying like an addict to get that first feeling again. Which will never be reinstated. Ideally, I will have that room as my whole house and lifestyle environment when I grow up.
I have grown up. And no, I do not have the full spectrum of stuff that I imagined to have by now to make me feel that freedom again. I guess you lose sight of yourself when you grow up and the lifestyle you start to wish, is the lifestyle that corporations impregnate you with. However, I am an Aquarius, I never give up. I always have the hope.
And you can say that the environment should not matter for you to be happy. But most of the homeless people are not happy simply because well, the environment should not count. The environment is extremely important in your making. In you growing up. The environment shapes your world, shapes your horizon and how you see the universe and how you wish to participate at its extension and/or creation, expanding it, making your mark, leaving it in the memory of the people. Just like my grandma did. She created an environment, a lifestyle and a world of beauty that captivated me, and mesmerized me into wishing to live by certain standards and to work to obtain those standards.
I am a homebody. An introvert and I am proud of that. I like myself like that. Loving your environment you get creative, you get inspired, you get energy, you get to create yourself. To improve yourself. I am not stating you need to acquire THINGS. I say you should do whatever you believe it’s right for you. I state that for me, the environment is the core of my life. My mind needs a visually appealing lifestyle, home to be able to expand itself. To be joyful.
If your mind is cluttered, you might feel that you need to clean up everything around you. That’s how I feel. The Zen in your mind is created when you are in nature. Nature is charming. When I have a home that is beautiful, I see it as charming as nature. And my mind gets to become more Zen. More awake, more graceful. And then gratitude happens.
I cannot wait to go home next year to visit my room. Would you like to see photos? Let me know and next year, I will shoot them for you. The room might very well inspire you into that lifestyle as well. And maybe it will portray much better what I feel.
We all know by now that feelings create our worlds. Choose how you want to feel and change your life. Sometimes to feel certain things you need to amend something in your environment. Lifestyle is just a name given to extend our personalities, our minds, our spirits, ourselves.